


of youth, love and lust

by cahaya



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Angst, Based on, Child Abuse, Dark, F/M, Fluff, Hebephilia, M/M, Parent Harry, Pederasty, Unpredictable Emotions, a teene tiny cup of, older!harry, underage!louis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-16
Updated: 2014-04-16
Packaged: 2018-01-19 14:14:46
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 1
Words: 30,995
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1472785
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/cahaya/pseuds/cahaya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i> None of them should’ve got to this point where everything is just messed up, they both would be fine if they had never met, because they bring the worst out of each other. </i>
</p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> </p><p> <i>But since the universe sucked, she makes them interact and fall for one another. </i> </p><p> <i> Makes them bring the worse out of themselves.  </i></p><p> </p><p> * </p><p> </p><p>or the one where harry marries his landlady so that he can take an advantage of her pubescent son</p><p> </p><p> ~</p><p> </p><p>loosely based on nobakov's controversial masterpiece, lolita.</p>
            </blockquote>





	of youth, love and lust

**Author's Note:**

> STORY CONTAINS RAPE AND A RELATIONSHIP WITH A VERY LARGE AGE GAP PLS DONT READ IT IF ITS NOT YOUR CUP OF TEA

**Youth**

[juːθ ]

 

The period between childhood and adult age

The qualities of vigour, freshness, or immaturity as associated with being young

~

**Love**

[ lʌv ]

 

A great interest and pleasure

A strong feeling of affection and sexual attraction 

~

**Lust**

[ lʌst ]

A passionate desire for something

A sensuous appetite or sexual desire regarded as sinful

~

 

Life is fair.

 

Anyone who ever once tried to deny that, to say that life isn’t fair; are the ones that aren’t grateful of what they had.

 

Life is conscientious but no life is perfect.  That’s why it is fair.

 

You can have one thing that you’re horrible at, but there’s always something that you can master.

 

You may have money and all that you wish will happen in a flick of a finger, but maybe, you are far from this wonderful thing called happiness.

 

The rich old man who lives across the street may have thousands of maids serving just only for him. His back account is loaded, he owns cars more than you can ever count. But his wife is cheating on him, his son is in jail, messed up- because he’s lacking of his father’s attention. His daughter, she barely graduates from high school because she’s too spoiled to be responsible of herself.

 

The girl who lives next door may have a face that can be compared to an angel’s, but her brain works like a second handed machine from the great land of China.

 

That dork who lives two doors to your right, the one who you always laughed at? He’s as smart as Einstein ever will be, he’s the one who invented the infamous eco-friendly machine.

 

The beautiful and successful lawyer whose home is located three doors to your left? Her parents left her at a shelter house when she was two.

 

You may conquer the internet like William I did to England, but when was the last time you ever try to make an effort in your social life?

 

No one is a loser as no one is a winner. We all have won and lost something.

 

You cannot have anything, yet, you can’t not have everything.

 

Life is fair because it isn’t perfect and that just the way it is. A man can look so flawless from the outside, but if you take a look deep and past trough the cover. You would see just how messed up that man is.

 

And despite how cliché it sounds, Harry Styles is every woman’s dream; he’s perfect. He’s very smart; by the age of twenty he had finished his studies and graduated from the University of Oxford. His tall and broad frame can make any human beings drool over their chins every time they set their eyes on him. With his curly locks and striking green eyes, unforgettable deep and rough voice, Harry can get anyone he wants.

 

But there is one big problem that Harry Styles has.

 

He is a thirty-eight years old hebephile, and he’s in love with a thirteen year-old boy.

 

_~_

_“If love was blind, why everything should be mattered?”_

**_Anonymous_ **

**_~_ **

 “Mr. Styles?”

 

“Yes?”

 

“Ah, there you are! I’ve been waiting for you to come since yesterday,” a blonde-haired woman welcomes Harry with a flirtatious smile as she waves her hands at him. “Come in, come in!” the woman opens her door and Harry walks inside.

 

The house is small, like the type of house where the people who live in it only use it as a place to sleep, while they spend the rest of their days working outside. Nevertheless, it still looks comfortable and cozy- despite its size.

 

“Ah,” the woman’s voice snaps Harry out of his thoughts. “How rude of me! I haven’t introduced myself to you, have I?” She giggles and offers her hand to him, “I’m Mrs. Tomlinson, but you can call me Joanne, or Jo will do,” Joanne grins as Harry shakes her hand back and pulls away.

 

“I’m Mr. Styles, as you know, but you can also call me Harry, ” the curly haired man forces a smile. Harry looks around the guest room; there are so many phovtos on the coffee table of a man who he assumes is Mr. Tomlinson with Joanne and their son, but since he’s looking at those photos from afar and without his glasses, Harry cannot see their faces clearly. “So, where’s Mr. Tomlinson?” he asks the woman in front of him politely.

 

“Dead,” Joanne answers, her face completely unfazed, as if she’s not bothered by the fact that her husband is gone. Though Harry supposes that maybe Mr. Tomlinson has been gone long enough that his wife has grown accustomed to live without him. “He died after being hit by a drunk driver, when he was in a car with his slut,” she says bitterly and now Harry knows why Joanne doesn’t really care about her husband’s death.

 

“Oh… erm, I’m so sorry for your loss, Joanne,” Harry smiles awkwardly. “Well, can you show me around your house? And the room where I’ll probably be staying?”

 

Joanne’s bitter expression turns sweet again as she leads Harry upstairs and shows him his possible future room. It’s small, but big enough for him, since he’ll be staying there alone; it has a queen-sized bed, a chest of drawers, two nightstands on both sides of the bed, and a desk that faces the window; the perfect place for him to write. Then the woman shows him the bathroom, and it’s kind of messy, with bottles of soap scattered all over the floor. Joanne bends down, picks them up and puts them in the right places.

 

Harry can hear her cursing someone whose name starts with an “L”; he assumes that it might be her son’s name.

 

“So your son uses this bathroom too, huh?” Harry asks with a smile.

 

“Yeah,” she nods, “but don’t worry, I’ll make sure that hebehaves and put his stuff in the right places.”

 

“Ahh..., it is fine by me, Mrs. Tomlinson,” Harry laughs. “I’m okay with a little mess; we’ve all been children before, haven’t we?”

 

Joanne just rolls her eyes and says that Harry is too kind for a man before leading him back downstairs. On his way down, Harry sees the door of a room next to his, and it’s obvious from the door’s décor that it belongs to Joanne’s son. She shows him around the kitchen, the den, and the small bar next to it before both of them walk outside to the garden.

 

The garden isn’t small but it certainly isn’t big either. It’s quite beautiful and relaxing actually; there’s a swing in the corner, and the flowers are blossoming. Harry can smell the roses and jasmines. He tells Joanne that she’s very good at taking care of her flowers, which makes the woman blush red like a tomato, but Harry’s attention drifts from her when he sees a beautiful boy lying with his stomach down on the grass.

 

The boy is small, and short, and his skin is wet from sweat and water. Harry thinks that the boy wet himself purposely because of the summer's blistering heat, the air is thick with it. His skin is tanned, as if it was kissed by the sun itself, and he’s reading something, kind of like a magazine. But what catches Harry’s attention the most is the curve of the boy’s bum. He’s beautiful, pretty, small, and he looks so  _innocent_  and if Harry had some doubts about whether he was going to stay at this house or not, that boy certainly cleared it up.

 

“How much do I have to pay in a month, if I stay here, Joanne?” Harry shifts his eyes from the boy to his mother.

 

“One hundred and fifty pounds, including meals and such things,” she responds with an excited smile, her icy blue eyes glistening.

 

“Okay then,” Harry says. “I better grab my stuff from the car.”

 

~

 

_“You’re screwed up and brilliant”_

**_Million Dollar Man_ **

_~_

Soon Harry learns that Joanne’s son‘s name is Louis; the pretty boy with a pretty body, who's like a ball full of fire and energy. Harry can see that he’s very stubborn, always fighting with his own mother at every given chance; not answering when asked, not obeying when ordered, and not listening when told to.

_Knock knock knock_

 

A knocking sound comes from Harry’s door. “Come in,” he says as he looks up from his diary, putting his pen down.

 

“Mum sent me here to serve you breakfast, Mr. Styles.” Louis huffs in annoyance and walks to Harry’s desk with a tray of food in his hands.  The boy then puts down the man’s food and leans closer to Harry, startling him. “Don’t tell her that I ate all of your bacon, though,” he smirks, cerulean eyes full of passion as he stares back at Harry’s emerald ones.

 

“And what if I tell her that you ate my bacon?” Harry teases back.

 

“I’ll eat the rest of your breakfast then,” Louis replies with a smile. “You’ll starve to death, Mr. Styles.”

 

Harry laughs and leans back in his chair. “Well then, I suppose I should keep this a secret, right?” he asks the boy with his eyebrow raised, but it seems like Louis has his attention on something else because he only gets a hum of agreement from the boy.

 

“What’re you writing, Harry?” Louis asks, his blue eyes glaring at the book that Harry just written in a moment ago; his dairy.

 

“Nothing,” Harry responds quickly, covering his diary with his large hands, scared that Louis will see what he’s been writing on for the past couple of days.

 

The little boy in front of him smirks wickedly and hisses “liar”.

 

Then Louis’s small body jumps to Harry’s desk and then moves down to sit on the man’s lap. Harry doesn’t know whether he’s imagining it or not, but he can certainly feel the curve of Louis’s bum sitting right on top of his crotch. Louis runs his small hand over to the pocket of his short pants, digging through the fabric. The boy smiles when he gets what he wants. Louis pulls out a strip of gum and opens the paper, putting the piece into his mouth.

 

Unfortunately for Harry, he notices that Louis is teasing him slowly- whether the boy knows this or not. Louis licks the tip and starts to chew.

 

Harry bites his lower lip as he tries to muffle his groans, fisting both of his large hands, preventing them from making any ridiculous moves, like attacking Louis’s hips, pinning him to Harry’s desk before fucking him into oblivion.

 

But thank God Harry still has some control left, so he just sits there with a beautiful boy sitting on his crotch, chewing his bloody gum sensually, making weird noises that go straight from Harry’s ear to his cock, and, dear Lord, he really does try his best to not get hard.

 

Harry intakes a shuddering breath when Louis wiggles his bum before taking out the gum from his mouth and sticking it onto Harry’s diary. The boy turns his head towards him and smiles wickedly, winking and jumping down from his lap. “Good Day, Harry- I mean, Mr. Styles,” he giggles and sprints out of Harry’s room.

 

Literally seconds after Louis leaves, Joanne walks into his bedroom. The blonde woman is now wearing a swimsuit that barely covers her skin. “Do you want to go for a swim in the lake nearby, Harry?” she asks.

 

“Erm,” Harry coughs and looks down, his eyes widening in surprise when he sees Louis’s gum still sticking to the papers of his diary. He clumsily takes the gum off with his hands before putting it into his mouth, his eyes never leaving Joanne, making sure that it seems as though he's listening to whatever she’s ranting to him about.

 

“So,” she smiles sweetly, oblivious to what Harry did a few moments ago. “What do you say? You and me, having a little adventure in the lake?” She really is trying her best to be seductive.

 

“I… eh,” Harry stutters. “What-what about Lou- Louis?” he looks at Joanne, trying to be as concerned as possible. “You can’t leave your son alone, Jo.”

 

Joanne blinks at him several times before shifting her head to the side to look outside the window. “Nah, that little brat can take care of himself,” she says, annoyance can be heard clearly in her voice.

 

“Well,” Harry chews his (well, Louis’s) gum once again and opens his mouth. “I don’t think it would be very wise of me to take his beautiful mother for a swim but let him stay at home alone and bore himself to death now, would it?” he asks with a charming smile, because fuck, if he’s going to go swimming with Joanne, he will do it while he’s able to enjoy Louis’s body from afar.

 

“Oh, Harry,” Joanne swats at his shoulder playfully. “You’re too sweet for your own good. I wish Lou had a father as great as you!” She giggles and winks at him. Then the woman turns around, walking out of his bedroom once again.

 

“Don’t forget to wear your swim trunks, Harry!” Joanne says as she stops for a moment. “Or you can just not wear them!” She gives him a wink before continuing to walk downstairs.

 

And Harry can hear Joanne’s loud, yet distant, voice, yelling at Louis to get his swimming equipment ready, “ _don’t you dare disobey me again, you ungrateful, boy!”_

 

 

~

“ _Watch me in the swimming pool bright blue ripples, you sitting on your black Cristal”_

**_Off to the Races_ **

~

 

Harry spends the rest of his day sunbathing at the edge of the lake while watching Louis (and Joanne) swim. He watches Louis take off his shirt just to show his already-tanned skin to the world, revealing the delicious curves of his waist that trail down to his spine and end at his glorious perky bum; and, for a twelve year-old boy, Louis’s can beat any hot female models’ any day.

 

The boy jumps into the water, creating a huge splash of water. Joanne yells and glares at her son. “Behave, young man!” She spits bitterly at him. Louis just rolls his eyes and mocks his mother when she’s not looking, and that certainly catches Harry’s attention, making the man bark out a laugh. They keep swimming, and playing in the lake until the sun goes down.

 

When they arrive at their home, all Harry wants to do is just go to his room, take off his clothes and fall into a deep slumber. But, unfortunately for him,  he has no choice but to accept Joanne’s offer to eat supper with her. What annoys him to an unfathomable extent is the fact that Joanne grounded Louis for almost ruining her swimsuit back when they were in the lake, so the boy has to stay in his room without eating dinner. Harry eats while Joanne rants about how lonely her life is. He tries his best to pretend he really does care about her personal life, whereas his thoughts are trailing to upstairs, wondering what Louis might be doing right now _. Is he reading that magazine of his again? Has he changed his clothes yet?_

 

After supper is done, Harry goes straight to his room (politely declining Joanne’s offer to christen her newest collection of alcohol) and takes off his shirt and trousers, changing into his pajama pants. Just as he’s about to turns the lights off, his door creaks open. Harry smirks when he knows who’s visiting his bedroom right now.

 

“You do know that it’s not polite to just barge into a man’s room, right Lou? Have you ever heard the word “knocking”?” He raises an eyebrow when Louis scowls. “It’s a common courtesy,” Harry shrugs and lies down on his bed.

 

The man puts his hands on the back of his head while studying the boy in front of his bed. Louis is wearing a striped t-shirt with another pair of short pants. Harry wants to laugh as he realizes something; as much as Louis seems to hate his mother, the way he dresses really resembles Joanne’s style. They both are very proud of their skin, not afraid of showing it off in public, and well, Harry’s not complaining.

 

Louis walks to Harry's bed. “It’s my house,” he claims as he climbs onto the mattress. Louis crawls onto Harry like a tiger does when it wants to eat its prey. “I can do whatever I want,” the boy whispers in Harry’s ears.

 

Louis is now practically lying on top of him, with his hands and feet supporting his light weight.

Harry instantly wraps his arms around the boy’s waist, pulling him down onto his broad body until the fabric of Louis’s t-shirt is touching Harry’s bare skin. The boy rests his head on his collarbones and laughs. “You have so many tattoos,” Louis trails his small fingers to Harry’s left where so many words and symbols are inked on his skin permanently.

 

Harry just hums and smiles as the small boy on top of him keeps tracing his fingers on his skin in a pattern; it’s relaxing and calming. Harry sighs and holds Louis tighter to his body. He inhales the boy’s flowery smell, unconsciously kissing the sensitive skin on Louis’s neck. He groans deeply when he hears Louis gasp.

 

“You like it?” Louis breathes after a brief moment of silence.

 

“What?” Harry asks, he moves his right hand to Louis’s spine, stroking the bare skin between his shirt and his pants.

 

“My smell,” Louis says. “I used mum’s perfume for you.”

 

Harry is now rubbing Louis’s back with both of his large hands, the roughness of his palms contrasting Louis’s soft skin. “You did?” Harry hums. “Why?” he asks, despite the fact that he already knows the answer.

 

Louis rests his elbows on Harry’s chest and looks down at him, his blue eyes shining. “I want to smell good for you, of course,” he whispers. “That’s what you like, isn’t it? You like pretty boys that smell nice, don’t you, Harry?” Louis leans closer to Harry’s face, his blue eyes eyeing the man’s lips curiously. “I’m already pretty, all I needed was to smell nice,” he says huskily before snapping his eyes up to Harry’s emerald ones again.

 

Harry raises his eyebrow and smiles in amusement. “What makes you so sure that you’re pretty?”

 

Louis looks back at him for a moment and leans down, his hot breath on Harry’s left ear. “Your body says so,” he whispers, and with a swift motion Louis gets up and leaves Harry alone in his bed.

 

“Good night, Mr. Styles.” Louis’s high voice haunts Harry’s dreams that night.

 

~

“ _I can be your China doll if you’d like to see me fall”_

**_Without You_ **

**_~_ **

 

Harry doesn’t know whether he’s cursed or blessed, but as the weeks pass the teasing, pleading, and flirting that he gets from both of the Tomlinson's is starting to get unbearable.

 

During the day, after he’s done working on some assignment, Joanne always asks him to come downstairs and have a glass of cognac; she plays jazz music and requests for Harry to dance with her.

 

And when the night comes, after his mum goes to sleep, Louis will sneak into Harry’s room, always wearing those short pants of his; the ones that shows his toned thighs proudly. The little boy lays on top of Harry’s body, sharp blue eyes looking below at him. Louis likes to rant about his day, but sometimes Harry has a hard time paying attention to what the blue eyed boy is saying because, apparently, Louis likes to grind on Harry’s crotch as he tells him his stories.

 

Harry doesn’t know what’s going on with his mind. He doesn’t know why he’s so attached to Louis, but what he does know is that it’s not in a fatherly way. Harry sometimes wakes up sweating and gasping for air, with his cock hard and leaking precome; he always does that after having dreams about fucking Louis hard into his sheets until the boy is a crying and panting mess.

 

Needless to say, Louis doesn’t really help his  _situation_. Harry can’t tell whether the boy actually knows what’s going on in his perverted mind or not, but Louis always teases him; he won’t do his homework unless he’s sitting on Harry’s lap, he won’t sleep unless Harry carries him back from his room to his own, he always wears those really short pants, and Harry doesn’t know whether he needs new glasses or not but as the days go on, Louis’s pants grow tighter.

 

But if there’s one thing that awes Harry, it's the fact that Joanne hasn’t notice anything between him and her son. The woman still flirts with him endlessly, and it’s apparent to Harry that Joanne is really that desperate for a lover.

 

The beginning of the story of Harry and Louis’s love life is when Joanne sends her son, against his will, to an all-boy summer camp. It’s a very hot day, the sun’s rays are burning, and Louis’s mum keeps yelling at him to get his stuff to the car as soon as possible, “ _can you just listen to what I say, this one time, Louis?!”_  Joanne yells. Harry can only watch from his window upstairs as Louis, with a scowl on his face, puts his suitcases into the car. The tall man feels like something is being taken away from him, and Harry is too busy staring at the black car that’ll be driving Louis away to notice footsteps approaching him.

 

A slight pinch on his back makes Harry turn his head and, with a blink of an eye, Louis jumps on him, his thighs wrapping themselves around Harry’s waist., the boy’s arms linking around his neck.

 

The man smiles at the boy before both of them close the space between their lips. Harry wraps his strong arms around Louis’s thighs as the boy attacks his lips. They kiss as if there is no tomorrow, Louis clumsily licking Harry’s lower lip with his tongue, testing the water- whether this is how you kiss a man or not- and Harry welcomes him warmly. Their tongues delve into each others mouths, savoring each others taste and memorizing it, as if it’s a memorabilia. Louis pulls away when he runs out of breath, his lips swollen, red and wet. He smirks before pecking Harry’s lips one last time.

 

Then the boy unwraps his arms and legs from around the tall man in front of him and looks into Harry’s eyes as he says, “See you later, Mr. Styles.” He winks at him and sprints out of Harry’s room like he did on the first day.

 

Harry can only smile like an idiot as Louis leaves.

 

~

_“We all look for heaven and we put love first”_

**_This What Makes Us Girls_ **

_~_

 

After Joanne and Louis leave, Harry walks downstairs to the kitchen to grab some juice, he pours the liquid into the glass, he walks to the island to snatch some fruits but the man freezes a for a moment when he sees a note with his name on it.

Harry opens the letter, he expects it came from Louis- but turns out he was wrong, the writing is very neat, too neat for a boy in Louis’ age, and since Joanne’s maid cannot read or write, the letter must have come from her.

The curly haired man takes the letter with his left hand and the juice with his other hand, he walks to the den and sits down and he reads. Harry almost chokes on his drink when he realizes what Joanne has written; the woman is in love with him, she’s basically begging him to marry her “ _I wish you would consider what I’m feeling, and if you feel the same then we shall marry, but if you don’t, I hope you’d forgive my fragile heart and leave, Darling”_

Harry takes a deep breath to relax, he is torn, he doesn’t feel the same way towards Joanne, he isn’t interested in the woman whether it is sexually or romantically, but if Harry doesn’t marry Joanne; he has to leave, and he can’t risk that- he doesn’t want to be away from Louis, _he needs to be close to him._

So without any other choice, Harry decides to lie.

When Joanne arrives home he kisses her deeply, he sweeps her off her feet and acts thrilled. Harry pretends to love her, he tells her that he’s in love with her too, the poor oblivious woman squeals in delight and hugs him tight while chanting “ _I love you, I love you, Harry!”_

Then they get married, the ceremony is small, only a few of their friends, neighbors and family that come. Joanne tells Louis that Harry has become his new father with a letter, she doesn’t invite her son to her own wedding, saying that its against the camp’s policy to take a kid before he's due to come home.

On their first night, they make love (well, to Harry, they fuck), he fucks her hard with his eyes closed, he thrust into her repeatedly while his mind drifts to Louis, he pretends that it’s the boy who’s laying below him, instead of his mother. And when he’s done, he kisses Joanne’s forehead, and tells her that he loves her without looking into her eyes.

They both fall asleep in exhaustion.

~

_“You went out every night and baby that’s alright”_

**_Blue Jeans_ **

~

Harry praises himself for being good at acting, its been a month since Joanne and him got married and not once has the woman questioned his love. But as the days pass, not once does Louis leave his mind. When Joanne goes to the city with her friends for a night, Harry sleeps in Louis’s room.

He lies down on the boy’s small bed, he turns his head to inhale Louis’s smell that still lingers on the sheets, he moans as an image of Louis pops into his brain. Harry wonders what the boy might be doing right now, he wonders what Louis has done in the camp for the past four weeks.

Harry unconsciously runs his hands to the bulge on his pants, he rubs his covered erection as he imagines how tanned Louis’s skin would be now- the boy must be spending plenty of time swimming and doing activities outside; Harry pulls off his pants and wraps his large hands around his cock, he rests his head on Louis’s pillows and starts to rub himself.

Harry closes his eyes again, he pictures Louis’ face, how good his lips would look wrapped around his cock- the man lets out a deep groan and rubs his finger against his cock’s slit. To Harry, it feels like the temperature of the room has increased, sweat's starting to cover his skin, he pumps his cock quickly, Harry wanks himself faster, he’s too preoccupied imagining Louis on his mind and wanking his own cock that he doesn’t even realize, he’s practically uttering Louis’ name as if it was a prayer.

What Harry does realize is that when he comes, he screams Louis’s name out loud.

The day after Harry masturbated to the pictures of his step-son’s face, Harry and Joanne spend their morning reading and polishing nails under the sun’s rays. When he’s done reading his book Harry pulls out his dairy and writes his heart out, he writes about how amazed he is towards the experienced authors he has met at many parties, he writes his ideas for his new book.

If you were to take a peak at Harry Styles’ journal, you would know how fucked up he is. Harry scribbles down his dirty thoughts onto the paper, his desire tos ravish Louis’ body, how pretty the boy is, how his own step-son can turn him on, the man literally pours his heart out to his diary.

Long story short, it’s a very good day for Harry.

~

_“You have been taking up my mind with your little with lies”_

**_Little White Lies_ **

~

“How come you never tell me about what you write in that diary of yours?” Joanne says curiously as she puts a tray full of Harry’s food on his desk.

“It's not important” he responds back and takes a bite of his toast.

Joanne makes a weird pouty face at him “But I’m your wife- I'm supposed to know everything about you. We shouldn’t have any secrets”

Harry swallows his food and takes a gulp of tea before he speaks “We don’t have any secrets, dear” he looks at her convincingly,  “I wrote nonsense and it's not worth your precious time, Honey” Harry smiles and gets up from his seat, he walks to Joanne and gives her a peck on the lips. “I’m gonna take a bath now, yeah?”

His wife looks at him for a moment and then a smirk appears on her face “Okay then” she says. “I’ll wait for you to finish, Harry”

Harry gives Joanne a nod and walks to the bathroom, he takes his clothes off and turns the shower on. The man grunts a little when the hot water hits his cold skin, Harry closes his eyes and pictures Louis again, and just like last time- Harry wanks himself to the image of his beautiful step son on his knees, sucking his huge cock like it’s a lolly, luckily for him, the sound of the water splashing beats his loud moans.

When Harry is done wanking and showering himself, he takes the bathrobe on the corner and wraps it around his wet body. He grabs a towel and start to dry himself. He pads out the bathroom with a relaxed smile- but soon his face turns to a frown.

The drawer where he keeps his diary and private stuff is unlocked and as as far as he is aware, the key is in his wallet. Harry feels like he might faint when there’s no diary of his to be found, he searches around the room, quietly hoping that he just forgot the place where he put his diary in.

Harry’s worst nightmare really does come true when he can’t find any trace of his diary anywhere in his room, he refuses to believe it, but deep down inside- he knows that Joanne has stolen his dairy, his stigma, his shame, his sin.

Harry sneaks downstairs, still in his robe, “Jo? Joanne? My love?” he yells.

A broken, choked voice comes from the kitchen “Don’t come near me!”

Harry pads to the kitchen, there he sees Joanne sitting on a chair with his diary in her hands, her pale face is tainted with tears, sobs come out from the red lips “Hi-his beautiful mouth? His sinful curves?” she asks, her words slurred by her sobs.

“J-Jo, I-I can explain!” Harry stutters, he clumsily approaches not needed the crying woman “I-It was for a research! Notes for my new book! I-I used Lou’s name as a substitution for a girl’s name!”

“Bullshit!” Joanne spits, she looks at him with so much hatred, her torn expression turns to rage “How dare you, running around my house- pretending you were in love with me, while you-you” she stops to take a shuddering breath “While you were having disgusting and perverted thoughts about my son! MY OWN SON!”

“It’s not what you think!” Harry puts his hands on Joanne’s shoulders, hoping that the movement will calm her down. But the furious woman pushes him away so hard that Harry stumbles back to the counter.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!” she screams “DON’T YOU DARE TOUCH ANY OF US!” Joanne grabs his diary and throws it at Harry “Take your fucking diary and leave!” She hisses. “Go away before I call the police, you are not allowed to come anywhere near my Lou!”

That is the last thing she says before she runs out the kitchen, leaving Harry alone to wonder what the fuck he's done.

~

_“Let me put on a show for you”_

**_Yayo_ **

~

Harry rents a motel not far from the house where he was supposed to stay.

It’s been two days since Harry left Joanne’s house, it’s been two days since he left Louis’ home.

Maybe- to people who aren’t close to Harry, they will say that he’s perfect, in fact- the only person who knows that he’s a sick, fucked up man is Joanne, and Harry has been praying to the God he doesn’t believe in, that she will never report him to the police.

Because, Harry; he doesn’t feel guilty.

Harry spends his day doing nothing, he doesn’t touch his diary, he doesn’t read the newspaper, he just sits on the bed, while pouring scotch down his throat.

At night, he receives a phone call.

A man tells him that he’s sorry, he tells Harry that he has bad news for him. For a moment Harry thinks that he’s going to jail, but then the man on the phone says that his wife has passed away, Joanne got hit by a drunk driver, just like how her previous husband was killed. Harry has to go back, because now Louis is an orphan and the custody falls to Harry; acting as his step-father.

What amazes Harry to no end, is that the man doesn’t question why the hell he wasn't in his house when his wife died.

After having a long talk and discussion and all that shit- Harry decides two things; first, Joanne will be cremated and second, after that procession is done- Harry will take Louis out of the camp and well, have his way with his boy.

~

_“Come take a walk on the wild side, let me kiss you hard in the pouring rain”_

**_Born to Die_ **

~

“Mr. Styles?” asks a man with black jet hair, he’s wearing a uniform- he must be one of the employees, Harry thinks.

“Yes.”

“Are you here to take Louis Tomlinson?”

“Yes again” Harry smiles “I’m his step-father.”

“Alright,” the man nods and takes a handful papers and gives them to Harry “I need you sign this and then you can have your son back”

As Harry signs the paper, the black haired man calls a blonde haired boy and tells him to get Louis ready and pack his things because his father has come to pick him up. The boy nods and sprints out into the hall.

Almost half an hour after that, Louis arrives with bags in both of his hands, the boy is wearing a polo shirt and another pair of those short and tight pants of his, which has Harry shaking his head in confusion, surely a camp does not does not accept that kind of outfit, does it? Nevertheless, the he still loves the tight fabrics wrapped around Louis’ small and curvy body.

“Where’s Mum?” Louis asks, looking bewildered.

Harry swallows nervously before he answers. “I’ll explain it later, is that all that you’ve got?” He points his index finger at the bags Louis’s holding.

Louis nods “Yeah.”

Harry grips Louis’ shoulders “Let’s go then,” he says and leads both of them out of the camp and to his car.

 “Why did you pick me up this early?” Louis asks curiously once both of them step into the car. Harry bites his lip for a moment, debating whether he should tell the boy the truth or not. “Well?” Louis tilts his head up.

“Erm” Harry coughs and starts the engine nervously. Your mum is ill.”

“Ill?!” Louis exclaims “How can she be ill?! I mean, I know she’s not made of steel and can be annoying as hell if she wants too, but… she has a very healthy life style”

When they’re finally on the road Harry responds. “Everyone can be sick, you know… that just happens”

“But is she okay? She is, isn’t she?” Louis looks worried, this is the first time Harry ever seen such grim expression on his beautiful face.

The curly headed man swallows the lump in his throat and sets his eyes back on the road “Your mother…she’s okay,” Harry says, his voice is gravely, slow and deep. “For now.”

After hearing Harry's reply, Louis smiles in relief “Are we gonna visit her to the hospital now?”

“No,” Harry says immediately.

“Why not?”

“Because you are not old enough to visit someone who is sick in the hospital, not until you’re thirteen” Harry looks at the boy firmly.

“Bullshit!” Louis protests “I’ll be thirteen next month and that doesn’t make any difference!”

“Yes it does!” Harry snaps “You’re not allowed to see your mother in the hospital and that’s final,” he glares at the stubborn boy.

“Why?!” Louis glares back, his eyes are red now.

“Because I’m your father!”

“No, you’re not!”

“Yes, I am!” Harry yells, his face red from rage as he tightens his grip on the steering wheel, grasping it so hard his knuckles turn white. “Maybe you’re not my blood and flesh but I’m married to your mother, therefore I have custody over you and that makes me your father!” His rough voice roars to the inside of the vehicle make Louis winces.

“Well, but that's not why you married my mother in the first place, is it?” Louis whispers cooly.

“Don’t, Louis,” Harry hisses “Don’t start right now.”

Silence falls as both of them have lost the words to argue with each other.

Harry drives and drives to nowhere, every welcome and goodbye sign comes and goes on the edge of the road, he keeps driving until he reaches a motel sign near the gas station.

Harry helps Louis bring his luggage and stuff once he’s done parking the car. They both walk to the lobby where a bored looking receptionist greets them.

“One room with twin beds, please” Harry orders politely while taking out cash from his wallet,

The receptionist looks at the computer screen in front of her and frowns, “I’m sorry, Sir” she looks at him apologetically. “But the only ones that left are the single beds”

“Ah, I see,” Harry looks at Louis, the boy is chewing gum again, with his arms crossed and a careless look on his face. Harry shifts his eyes to the receptionist,- “Okay then, I’ll take the room,” he smiles.

The woman then gives Harry his key, says that he’s staying at room number 309 and she blushes when Harry thanks her with a wink.

“Was that bloody wink necessary?” Louis asks once they arrive in front of the door to their room.

“You’re jealous?” Harry smirks at the boy as he fumbles to open the door with his key.

“I’m not” Louis spits, glaring up at him, his blue eyes are sharp with annoyance. “You don’t have to be such a jackass and get that bloody woman’s hopes up.” 

Harry laughs, “I’m not getting anyone’s hopes up.” He opens the door and picks his stuff up, “I’m just trying to be nice,” he winks at Louis, which earns a scoff from the boy.

As the man walks to the bed, his smile turns to a frown- there’s only one huge bed, no sofa or anything (but who the fuck is Harry kidding, this is a cheap motel). “There’s only one bed” Harry announces.

“I can see that,” Louis says boredly, without any gum in his mouth.

Harry doesn’t know why, but suddenly he feels very self-conscious. Maybe it’s the fact that he’s hoping for Louis to suggest that they should sleep in the same bed or perhaps Harry’s afraid if that does gonna happen, he won’t be able to hold back.

He trails his eyes around the room, then he finds a chair in the corner; its looks uncomfortable, but he supposed that will do. “I’m gonna sleep on that chair then,” he decides.

“Good,” is the only thing Louis says before he throws his small body onto the bed and sleeps, leaving Harry Styles alone, standing there and staring down at his sin.

 

~

“ _All he wants to do is party with his pretty baby”_

**_Cola_ **

**_~_ **

The chair is fucking uncomfortable.

Like it’s made to torture people who ever sat on that cursed thing. Harry’s back is aching, his bones feel like they're frozen and stiff and how the fuck he gonna sleep on it for the rest of the night?

So then the man decides to go out, take a couple of drinks to keep himself occupied, maybe- if Harry’s lucky, he will pass out in the bar until the sun goes up. He snatches the room’s key and his wallet; he turns to Louis’ sleeping form and gives the boy a soft peck on his forehead before Harry leaves him alone in the room, safe and locked from outside.

Harry walks to the lobby and sees the receptionist again, he puts on his best smile and asks if she knows where the nearest bar is.

The woman blushes again; hinting that maybe she could ask someone to cover her shift so she can accompany him to the bar. And that’s when Harry puts on his innocent face, playing oblivious to what the woman has been trying to offer. He tells her that he can’t let a beautiful woman waste her time, which leaves her red, and a stuttering mess.

The bar is only a block away from the motel, so it isn’t that far for Harry to walk. The sky is getting dark, the street lamps are starting to come on, there’s not many people walking down the pavement. Only a couple with the their hands entwined, smiling stupidly, blinded by their love; and Harry smiles a little because maybe, in the future he might end up like them, blinded by his love for Louis.

The bar’s door makes a ‘cling’ sound when Harry opens it, he walks to the room, inhaling the smell of old oak and alcohol mixed together. The bar is quiet, unlike the ones that he always visited frequently in the cities. Harry sits and orders a scotch from the bartender, he hands the man his money and he gets handed back his drink.

“I’ve never seen you before.” The bartender says, his dark eyes judging Harry.

Harry takes a sip of the alcohol “I’m a tourist” he shrugs.

“Really?”

“Yeah” Harry nods “Just staying here for a couple of days.”

“Who are you with?”

Harry stares at his drink for a moment and responds with, “I’m alone.”

The bartender furrows his brows and gives Harry one last glance before takes his eyes away and serves a brown haired woman who orders a glass of vodka and coke.

Harry spends about two or three hours in the bar, requesting a couple more shots, he drinks until he feels light headed and just about he wants to get up and leave.

A dark skinned man approaches him- Harry feels a hand gripping his shoulder tightly, his eyes widen when the man hisses to his ear, “I know what you’ve got with you.”

Harry freezes. He tries his best to not seem like he’s scared or show any nervousness, “I’ve got a wallet with me,“ he smirks. “You wanna rob me?” Harry glances at the man next to him “Go ahead.”

Harry knows what this man is talking about, Louis. He wants Louis, he _knows_ about Louis. At least,- if he doesn’t, this man knows that Harry is hiding a child, and this man, he wants what Harry has.

No one can have Louis but him.

A sudden rush of courage hits Harry instantly, the monster in his chest rises up, sniffing the air full of jealousy and possessiveness. Harry stands up and slams the glass he’s holding down onto the wooden table, he glares at the dark skinned man beside him.

Harry chuckles bitterly when he takes a look at the man’s appearance; he’s shorter than Harry for sure, his dark hair is styled into a quiff, the man has some sort of darkness hidden on his face. The beard that he has on his chin makes him look more intimidating than he should be. But again, Harry is fucking sure that he can beat this man at anything, he's had enough women who told him that.

“I don't know why the fuck you're trying to mess with me” Harry spits and looks down at the quiffed headed man. “But you're never going to get what I have“ he says firmly and walks out of the bar.

“We’ll see”

~

_“He’s sick. He’s taken but he is honest”_

**_You Can be the Boss_ **

**_~_ **

The thing that wakes Louis up from his slumber is the feeling of a man’s arms wrapped around his thin waist. A deep, muffled groan on the back of his neck makes the boy jump in sudden panic, almost sending the man behind him falling off the edge of the bed. The dim light of the moon shines past the window, giving Louis a chance to see who the person is-

“Oh, it’s you,” Louis says calmly when he sees Harry.

 

Harry nods. He mumbles something incoherent and Louis can’t grasp a single word the man says. Harry’s wearing the same attire he wore yesterday afternoon; a button down that reveals his chest full of tattoos and blue jeans. 

 

 _If Harry wears that fedora of his, he’ll look like a cowboy_ , Louis thinks as he sees it on the floor. And it still amazes the boy that Harry can manage to look ten years younger than his age, since the man is in his late thirties yet appears to be around twenty-five.

 

Louis moves closer to Harry, he sniffs the air around Harry, expecting to smell his expensive cologne, but Louis’s face falls when he smells alcohol instead.

 

“Are you drunk?” He accuses Harry.

“No, no, I’m not.” Harry slurs, then moves suddenly, his big lanky body pinning the smaller boy to the headboard.

Louis instantly recoils, feeling slight disgust towards the man. “You’re disgusting,” he blurts out without thinking.

Harry giggles and leans down to Louis' level. “You like it,” he whispers. “You like things that are disgusting.”

Louis shivers when his hot breath hits a sensitive part on his neck. “You’re not allowed to get drunk,” he states reasonably. “Not when you have an underage child with you.”

Harry babbles something unintelligible again, his hands roaming Louis’s body, reaching to the hem of his shirt. He then grabs Louis’s hands and rubs the rough skin of his palms against Louis’s smooth one.

 

“You’re so beautiful,” Harry mumbles. “I’m sorry.”

The boy below him huffs out a laugh and rests his head against the headboard, his cerulean eyes staring up at the ceiling.

 

“You’re not,” Louis says as he wraps his this arms around Harry’s shoulders, unconsciously pulling his stepfather closer to his body. Louis feels like Harry’s mother, cuddling a child to his chest while he’s a complete mess. Louis runs his hands through Harry’s hair, tangling his fingers in the brown curls “You’re not sorry for marrying my mother.”

“I am,” Harry mutters honestly.

“No, you aren’t,” Louis says and shifts his body to adjust the big frame on top of his petite one.

“I know why you did it. Perhaps there would have been better options than becoming my stepfather,” Louis wraps his legs around Harry’s waist as he says this, locking his ankles together behind him. “But you had no other choice. If-if you had rejected her, you’d have had to leave us…me, and I-I wouldn’t have wanted that.”

Harry’s drunk, he knows that. He can feel the alcohol buzzing in his head, running through his veins, but he’s glad that somehow he still can think right. Harry’s aware of what’s happening right now- even though he can’t speak his mind correctly, he’s able to think straight.

“You’re so mature,” Harry realizes for the first time. “Like, you’re so mature, wise and- and a tease.”

Louis chuckles. “ A tease?”

Harry hums into the boy’s neck. “Yeah. How- how can you be so mature?” He asks. “Fuck, you’re twelve, this isn’t supposed to happen.”

There’s a pregnant pause before Louis opens his mouth. “I’m different,” he breathes nervously. “I don’t know why, but I am. I know what we’re doing is wrong, and I know I’m not even supposed to know that what we have is illegal, but I do. It’s confusing. I think- I think I've grown up too fast.”

“I’m a freak,” Louis then adds with a bitter smile.

Harry tightens his arms around his stepson. “I am too.”

“You’re what? A freak?” Harry barks out a laugh.

“Yeah, I am,” he inhales deeply to calm himself down. “Contrary to you, my professional brain thinks that I grew up too late.”

“Professional brain?” Louis asks incredulously.

“You know, my conscious thoughts. I’m a professor after all.”

"Well," Louis giggles. "Why does this brain of yours think that you’re different too?"

Harry sighs and closes his eyes, feeling safe and warm in the arms of the twelve year-old boy around his body. “I’m attracted to a child.”

Louis bites his lip, feeling both anxious and confused. He doesn’t know how to respond that statement, doesn’t know how to feel about that.

Louis knows that there’s something wrong with him. Sometimes he has the urge to do things boys his age shouldn’t do, and he can’t control that. What makes it all worse is that Louis can’t put out a word to what’s wrong with himself. It’s all just too complicated for his little brain to process. Louis feels weird, he feels lost, and he doesn’t know what to say or how to respond to what Harry said.

For a slight moment silence fills the room. The pair just lie there, wrapped around each other, not knowing what to do or say.

"Are you still upset with me, Louis?" Harry’s deep voice breaks the silence.

Louis tugs the curly locks in his hands and smiles when Harry groans quietly. “A little,” the boy mutters.

"I’m sor-"

"Don’t," Louis interrupts. "I told you that you’re not sorry."

"I’m not sorry for marrying Joanne," Harry confesses. "I’m sorry for not telling you about it first. I’m sorry if you’ve ever felt hurt because of me". He sounds so sincere.

Louis yawns and sighs, tightening his legs around Harry, pulling the man closer to him and if the circumstances were different their position would not look as innocent as it does now.

“It’s okay,” Louis says softly. “Like I said, you didn’t have another option.”

Suddenly the boy pushes Harry away, making him stumble a little. “I want to sleep,” Louis whines.

"Why did you have to push me?" Harry pouts. "That position was comfy, you know."

Louis rolls his eyes as he tucks himself into the blanket. “Yeah, but not for me,” he says and rests his head onto the pillow.

"My skull was being crushed by that bloody headboard!" Louis bites his lip shyly, silently thanking God that it’s dark and Harry can’t see the blush rushing up his cheeks.

"Come," he pats the pillow next to him. "Let’s go to sleep, Harry."

Harry smiles and obeys the boy’s request. He sighs and tucks himself in. “Can I hug you?” Harry asks quietly, moving closer towards Louis.

"No." Louis’s answer is clear, and Harry doesn’t have the strength to ask why.

"Okay," he chokes out. "Good night."

Louis replies with a hum and turns around so that his back faces Harry.

They both fall asleep in a second.

~

“ _Ours, a love I held tightly. Feeling the rapture grow, like a flame burning brightly”_

**_Blue Velvet_ **

_~_

Louis seems bipolar at times. Harry can’t figure out what’s going on with the boy, but what Louis said about him being different is right. One day the boy acts mature, wise, and all that and then the next he’s careless, spoiled and avoiding Harry at every chance.

And then there are some days (Harry’s favorite kind of days) where Louis acts like a little tease. He crawls into Harry’s lap when they’re eating breakfast, he asks Harry to kiss him before they go to sleep, but when Harry moves his hands for more Louis pulls away and turns his body around again, always with his back facing Harry as the boy falls into a blissful sleep.

It’s Sunday when everything starts to go how Harry had planned. Louis is being his teasing self; the boy still acts careless and puts up his infamous spoiled-like-a-little-brat antics, but nevertheless, it’s one of Harry Styles’ favorite days.

Harry first decides that he and Louis need to get the hell out of this cursed motel when he hears a lady discussing his weird and bizarre actions for so long. ‘ _I don’t know why the man and his son stay in here for so long, Mary,’_ the lady sounded worried and curious. ‘ _I just- they’re supposed to have a house, you know, and what about their wife and mother? I’m sure whoever she is should be worried about them.’_

Harry was just about to open the door to his room and walk in when someone named Mary responded back. ‘ _Maybe both of them are on vacation?’_

 _‘Nonsense,’_ Harry could hear her scoff. ‘ _I’ve never seen the two of them go out, only the father. He never takes his son out.’_ And before Harry could hear Mary and the landlady continue their gossip, he heard a couple bustling in as they requested for a room. The curly headed man walked into his room then.

“Harry?” Louis’s high voice snaps Harry out of his thoughts. “You ready?” The boy asks as he straightens his clothes. Louis is wearing another striped shirt with red trousers, this time they’re long not short, but the fabric is still clinging to his body. He’s looking sinfully delicious for a twelve year-old boy.

“Yeah,” Harry nods. “You put all of your stuff into the bag?”

“Hmm,” Louis hums in confirmation.

Harry takes another look around the motel room, making sure that nothing is left but a little amount of money as a tip for whoever cleans this room later.

“Okay then. Let’s go to London,” he announces with a smile as Louis follows him out excitedly. The pair walk to the lobby together, this time it’s Mary and the landlady that serve the guests. Harry smirks a little when he sees both of them staring at him and his son comically.

“Leaving this soon, Mr. Styles?” Mary asks politely while Harry hands the money and key to the lady.

“Ah, yes,” he nods and ruffles Louis’s hair, which earns an annoyed groan from the boy. “Louis here is dead bored and I suppose that it’s time for me to take my son out for an adventure, eh?” Harry laughs.

The landlady smiles at Louis kindly before looking up at Harry. “Of course! When my son was your son’s age he couldn’t stay still for a single day, yearning for an adventure everyday. He was a bit of trouble, actually.” She chuckles fondly.

“Well, Louis’s a good boy, so he doesn’t complain that much.” Harry says proudly and before either of the two women can speak again, he says his goodbye.

“I better get going then,” Harry takes Louis’s right hand in his left one. “It was nice staying here, ladies. Goodbye!” Harry waves and walks out of the motel.

The summer breeze hits his skin in a sudden gust and Harry shivers, wrapping his arm around Louis’s waist and pulling the boy closer to his body. Louis doesn’t resist or anything, he just obeys his stepfather and leans closer to Harry’s broad chest. They walk together like a couple would, wrapped around each other and as if they’re oblivious about the world. And maybe they are; at least Harry thinks he is.

Once they get into the car, Harry wastes no time in driving out of the parking lot. The road isn’t as crowded as it was last week, only a couple of cars and trucks passing by, due to the fact that they are in the suburban side of England and the condition isn’t as bizarre as it is in London.

“You sure you didn’t leave anything behind, Louis?” Harry glances at the boy who’s sitting in the passenger seat. Louis’s eyes are glancing at the window, watching the side of road with wonder and curiosity.

“Louis?” Harry asks again. “You have to answer when you're asked a question, you know. It’s not polite to ignore people.” The man looks up to the windshield as he makes a turn to the left side of the road.

“Why aren’t we visiting Mum?” Louis asks after a moment of silence, his eyes still on the window, not looking at Harry in the slightest.

Harry coughs. “Well,” he thinks, what more lies could he tell Louis now? “Like I told you before, the doctor doesn’t allow us to visit her until he is very sure about her condition.”

“But why?” The boy protests. “I’m her son! I have the right to see her when she’s sick!”

“How many times have I told you that you’re not allowed to see her?” Harry snaps, gripping the wheel hard enough for his knuckles to turn white. Although the man can feel annoyance buzzing in his veins, he suddenly changes his mood unexpectedly.

“I…” Harry says lowly. “I’m sorry, it’s just- I don’t know when she’ll be out, okay? And- and it’s tiring for me too, I-.“

“I know,” Louis interrupts him softly. This time it seems that the younger boy is trying to understand their situation and Harry is extremely glad because he doesn’t know if he can handle another fight with Louis.

“I’m sorry too,” he whispers.

After that silence once again fills the atmosphere. It’s not the awkward kind of silence; it’s just that Harry and Louis don’t have anything to say to each other. Harry drives towards the northern section of London, the car ride is silent with only the radio blasting music.

The boy is entranced as he hums to the songs and stares at the view from the window. His little feet are bouncing up and down excitedly and his hands are tapping against his thighs to match the rhythm of the music, and for the first time Louis really does look like how a twelve year-old boy should. Occupied in his own little world, away from adults, safe from problems and dangers. He looks so innocent that it almost makes Harry feel quite awful for wanting to take advantage of this sweet, poor, little boy.

But then Harry remembers the occasions where Louis becomes a sly little nymph, seducing a man much his senior with his sinful yet innocent body, remembers the times when Louis reminds him how fucked up of a man he is.

 

And Harry’s guilt goes away.

Here’s the thing: Harry doesn’t get Louis. He doesn’t understand him at all, but Harry can’t help but to become infatuated with the boy. He can’t control the desire that he has for Louis, and it scares the man so much because, theoretically, it’s not rational. It amazes Harry that Louis can provoke in him so many emotions at the same time; he can make Harry feel remorse towards his disgusting acts, but then tempt him to do horrible things.

 

Truth be told, Harry Styles likes it.

 

Harry likes the rush that his stepson gives him, he likes the buzzing sensation in his veins every time Louis makes him feel content with himself because, _fuck,_ he’s involved sexually with an underage child- his own in the eyes of the law. Harry loves the unbeatable lust he has for the boy, loves the way his own green eyes burn every time Louis bends down. He enjoys it when his cock stiffens every moment Louis sits on his lap.

 

As much as Harry can’t fathom it, he loves every seconds of it. Louis is a challenge, and Harry Styles loves challenges.

 

He keeps driving for hours until they’re about halfway to London. Harry finds a diner and parks his car right away, dying for a proper meal consisting of pancakes and bacon.

“Are we going to eat here?” Louis asks, his nose scrunched up in disapproval.

“Yeah. Come on, Lou. I’m starving,” he says, unbuckling his seat belt before offering Louis his hand.

“But I don’t want to.” Louis whines and crosses his arms, refusing to take Harry’s hand. “I want to go to a restaurant, you have to take me to somewhere special.” He pouts and, fuck, does he look good.

Harry sighs. “How about this: the day after tomorrow is your birthday. We’re going to stay in a fancy hotel and there we can play as much as you want. You can swim and eat anything you’d like, and you won’t have curfew.” The stepfather laughs when he sees how Louis’s face lights up with an excited grin.

“Really?” He asks enthusiastically. “You’re going to do that?”

“Yup,” Harry nods. “Let’s just say that’s your birthday present. Now come on, I could go for a coffee right now.”

~

_“Hollow like the bottles that we drain”_

_- **400 Lux-**_

**_~_ **

Louis is beautiful

He’s like a perfect creature, like God made him with his own hands and Jesus spent years just to design a masterpiece like him.

Louis is beautiful and Harry is a lustful man.

The world knows that both of them aren’t good for each other. Louis can be normal without Harry and vice versa. Harry can control his lust and emotions if Louis’s not around, Harry’s good when Louis is not near him. But the universe is a bitch and it bites them in the ass, so it brings Harry and Louis together. They made these two souls interact with each other, they made Louis bring out the worst of Harry and the other way around.

It’s Louis birthday when the poor boy loses his virginity, or rather someone is about to steal it away from him.

Just like Harry had promised, they’re staying in a fancy hotel somewhere in London. The hotel is rated five stars, like the ones you see in movies. The entrance is big with a red carpet and crystal lights, in every corner there are statues made from porcelain, and the room is similar to how one would imagine a King’s chamber would be.

The bed is big, big enough for about four people to sleep on it, and the bathroom is just as wide as their old bedroom back then in the motel. There are mini sofas and a big television one meter from the bed, a small pantry and a fridge full of drinks and food- from which Harry allows Louis to take anything he wants.

Louis is spoiled like a princess that day. He can do anything he pleases, he says he wants something and Harry will bring it to him. The birthday boy spends most of his time in the pool, lying under the sunrays as he eats his favorites snacks, and he swims when he’s bored. Harry doesn’t join him swimming, though; he just sunbathes, wanting to make his skin tanner to get rid of the disturbing paleness. Both the boy and the man are trying their hardest to pretend that they don’t notice each other.

What the poor boy doesn’t know is what’s going to come when Louis goes back to his room. When Joanne kicked Harry out of her house the curly headed man went to a doctor. At first, Harry’s intention was just to ask for a pill that could put him to sleep, but then the oblivious doctor accidentally told him that there’s a medicine that makes the person who drinks it lose consciousness for a period of time, depending on the dose they take. What went through Harry’s mind was  _LouisLouisLouis_.

So without thinking of the consequences, Harry requested the drugs and the doctor obliged- he needed the money after all. When time for dinner comes, Harry takes Louis to a restaurant, again. The man tells the boy that he can eat anything he wants as long as he finishes his tea, which of course earns a big grin and a clumsy hug from Louis. What he doesn’t know, though, is that Harry slipped the drug into Louis’s tea when the boy wasn’t looking.

This time, Harry’s monster is the one in control; the monster in his chest that’s rising and sniffing the air full of want and desire. Harry’s logic was long gone when he met the boy, and now Harry’s lost control. His brain is just filled with Louis; when he wakes up all he sees is Louis, when he closes his eyes Louis is there, the boy appears in his dreams- whether he plays the innocent part or the filthy ones. Louis is always there.

It takes approximately an hour for the medicine to work. Louis goes weak and sleepy after he finishes his ice cream and five minutes after that the boy begs Harry to go back to the room and sleep, and Harry isn’t in any position to oppose Louis’s wishes.

After hurriedly paying the bills, Harry carries Louis as if he was five years old. The boy in his arms protests weakly but makes no movement to resist, and Harry thanks the gods that Louis is very small because no one questions him when he carries Louis with his legs wrapped around his waist. It feels like ages when the pair finally arrives at their hotel room. Harry wastes no time going inside and lays Louis on the bed gently.

The boy’s body grows limp, but his eyes are still staring, open and burning into Harry fiercely. Louis tries to speak but his attempts are in vain as his mouth won’t even open, his voice won’t work. Harry’s green eyes stare back at Louis’s blue ones and there’s like an unspoken contest; the one who breaks eye contact first loses.

It’s as if Harry’s trying to prove to the boy that he’s in charge now, that no matter how much control Louis really has on him Harry is always the one to command. The curly haired man takes off his shirt and pants without moving his eyes off Louis. Harry undresses fast yet carefully until he has all of his attire off but his briefs. The man then shifts his eyes to the nightstand on the left side of the bed and reaches over to open the drawer and grab a bottle of lube.

“I’m sorry,” he says without any real regret. Harry crawls to the bed (or Louis) like a tiger would when it wants to eat its prey, and Harry can feel a handful of pride in his chest when he looks down and sees Louis’s cerulean eyes flooded with tears. Harry’s satisfaction grows higher when Louis lets out weak little sobs. He’s like a madman now, his reasoning has lost its control over him, only lust and desire in power now.

“Stop crying,” Harry orders, and his voice doesn’t even sound like him anymore. “I swear to god, Louis. Stop crying, stop acting like you don’t want it,” he hisses and glares down.

Louis opens his mouth and takes a shuddering breath. He tries to speak, tries to plead for Harry to stop, but his words are coming out in gurgles. He doesn’t want it to be like this, not when- not when he’s in a panic and a limp mess, not with Harry’s eyes glaring at him, not when it’s just Harry who wants it.

Louis wants it with love. He wants it to be tender, like his friend Eleanor had told him her first time with her boyfriend was like.

Louis wants it like that, anything- anything but this.

Regardless of the wishes of a now thirteen year-old boy Harry continues his sinful actions. The man runs his large hands over Louis’s body, stroking the soft skin, silently groaning at the sun-kissed color of his skin, glistening with sweat. Harry looks up to Louis’s eyes and sees that his blue eyes are practically screaming, pleading for him to stop and, fuck, they remind him so much of her. Of her icy blue eyes the first time they made love. But…. But she didn’t cry, she didn’t look upset, she wanted it- wanted him. Why is Louis crying? Doesn’t he love him? He said so, didn’t he? The boy wants him.

Louis wants Harry. Why is he so scared? What’s Louis fear of?  Harry frowns.

The man leans down and moans when the sweet smell of Louis hits his nose. Harry smiles as he trails small kisses on the boy’s sensitive skin, Louis’s small and weak sobs going unheard by him. Harry is blinded and deafened by the strong desire that possesses him, and Louis is so much like her. Beautiful and petite, loud and funny, but there’s one thing that the boy has and she doesn’t.

Life. Louis has life, she used to have it.

But not anymore.

And Harry- he wants to prove to the universe that he can love someone like he loved her. He can take care of Louis, even though he couldn’t do the same for her.

“Please don’t cry,” he says softly in the boy’s ear, this time it’s him who’s begging.

“I won’t hurt you,” Harry presses another kiss on Louis’s collarbone. “I’ll take care of you, please don’t fear me.”

Harry strokes Louis’s soft hair and the boy mewls a little. Maybe it’s a sign that Louis wants it too, or at least Harry wishes that it is. “I love you,” he spoke to the boy with blue eyes that are filled with tears. “You said that you feel the same for me, right?”

Louis sobs harder.

The man ignores the pain in his chest and continues to undress the trembling boy underneath him; Harry takes off Louis’s pants slowly, biting his lip to stop from groaning when he sees those wonderful thighs. Then he moves his hands upwards, carefully taking off the rest of the boy’s clothes. Harry pretends that Louis isn’t crying, he pretends that Louis is smiling. He pretends that Louis wants it.

Just like she did.

After Louis is as naked as he was the day he was born, Harry wraps his hands on each of Louis’s legs and wraps them around his waist. Harry smiles at the boy comfortingly (or at least he hopes he does) and strokes Louis’s hair again, and then his ear- like he did with Dusty, his cat a while back ago. Harry keeps chanting ‘I love you, I love you’ to Louis like it’s a mantra.

He pecks Louis’s cheeks and leaves a trail of kisses from there to the boy’s thin lips. Harry kisses Louis hard yet lovingly, pliant lips meeting the eager ones. His right hand rests on the back of Louis’s head, slowly massaging the boy’s scalp, trying hard to get him to relax because now Harry is having an internal battle with the monster inside his chest, fighting on how he should take Louis.

Harry kisses him until he can feel the boy loosen up a bit. He smiles against Louis’s lips when he feels his loved one relax completely.

“There,” Harry pulls away and pecks Louis’s forehead. “Good boy,” he smiles proudly.

Harry’s left hand moves over Louis’s chest until his palm rests on top of the boy’s right nipple. He rubs the nub slowly, his emerald eyes never leaving Louis’s face. He wants to see the boy’s reaction, he longs for pleasure to fill his countenance, and he longs for Louis to moan. When Louis closes his eyes and lets out a shuddering gasp from the stimulation on his nipple Harry pinches the nub in a teasing manner, smirking when Louis writhes like he’s confused whether he should pull the man on top of him closer or push him away.

Harry chuckles before dropping his head even lower and placing his mouth around Louis’s other nipple. Both of his hands are now holding the boy’s hips, gripping him tight to stop him from moving too much and Harry almost screams in delight when he feels Louis’s cock get hard.

“I’ll make you drown in pleasure if you stop crying your eyes out.” Harry promises once he’s pulled back. “I hate it when you cry, I don’t want to see those blue eyes get red with tears.”

He grabs the bottle of lube and squirts some on his fingers. He then rubs Louis’s rim softly, grinning cheekily when he feels it flutter under his touch. He keeps rubbing over it slowly, coating it with as much lube as possible to ensure that he at least lessens the pain for Louis later. He looks up and sees the boy’s eyes are now looking up at the ceiling, too preoccupied in the pleasure coursing throughout his little body.

Louis gasps softly when Harry enters a finger into him, frowning when he feels a slight unpleasant pressure around his rim, but Harry’s promise flashes back into Louis’s brain- he said that if Louis relaxed he’ll make it good, so Louis swears to himself that he’s going to be a good boy and let Harry make it  _good._

Harry continues to move his finger in and out of Louis, rubbing the soft walls around it. Louis is so tight and hot and fuck- Harry is trying his hardest not to snap. After he feels Louis’s hole loosen a bit he adds another finger, earning a groan from the boy. Harry smiles proudly at himself while he curls his fingers, making sure to nudge Louis’s soft spot and he’s practically squealing with joy when Louis starts to let out gasps and puffs of breaths as his body starts to react to the pleasure Harry’s giving.

The boy’s small and weak hands move around uselessly, desperately trying to find something to hold on to as the man keeps thrusting his long fingers in and out of his body. Louis fists the sheets so hard his knuckles turn white, his mouth now open and gaping like a fish every time Harry rubs that spot. He knows what that is; his prostate, Louis has heard his best mate talking about it when he was in camp.

Louis starts to leak with precome as Harry keeps brushing his prostate with every thrust of his fingers, the man scissoring his fingers inside carefully, making sure that Louis’s walls are stretched enough to take his cock in, and after god know how long the man takes his fingers out.

Harry coats his now hard cock with as much lube as he can. He doesn’t want to rip Louis apart after all. He shifts his body a little and rubs the head of his cock around the rim of Louis’s hole, giving the boy one last peck on the lips before thrusting his cock into him softly, inch by inch. Pained gasps and low grunts fill the room.

The man actually feels a rush of relief running through his chest when he realizes that his cock is now settled inside of Louis, being swallowed by the tight heat. Harry looks up at Louis, his blue eyes are now open and once again filled with tears, but Harry can only see pain painted in those cerulean colors, no fear or pleas for him to stop. Maybe Louis doesn’t want him to, so Harry braces himself and starts moving his hips a little, pressing slow and careful thrusts into the small body below him with a steady pace to prevent hurting Louis.

Louis mewls when he feels the head of Harry’s cock brush against his prostate, the tingling sensation rushing from his bum to his dick in seconds and his cock feels like it’s ready to burst every time Harry slams his hips into him.

The bed starts to squeaks when Harry quickens his pace, his curly hair now wet and darker from sweat. He grips Louis’s hips tight enough to know that there’ll be bruises tomorrow morning but neither of them cares. Louis is too blinded by pleasure and his own naivety to care about the fact that he’s technically being assaulted, and Harry is too busy reaching his peak to care about the consequences that could result from this.

Louis is now crying because Harry always aims for the right spot every time he thrusts into him and the boy can literally feel the head of the man’s cock stabbing into his prostate. Louis sobs when Harry sinks his teeth into his neck and moves his hands from the bed sheets to the man’s back, scratching while Harry bites his skin hard enough to make blood leak out.

Louis squeals lightly when he feels Harry’s giant and rough palm wrapped around his hard and leaking cock, the hand around him moving so fast back and forth from the tip to the end as Harry tries his best to make Louis come. The man groans against the boy’s neck when he hears Louis scream as he comes, his cock squirting cum and his hole getting impossibly tighter around Harry’s cock.

Harry gives the boy who’s currently on the edge of unconsciousness a couple more deep thrusts into his hole and groans as his body tenses up. He slams his hips into Louis so hard he feels like he almost breaks the boy’s bones and squirts his sperm inside his stepson’s hole.

Louis faints right after he feels his mother’s husband fill his body with his seed.

 

~

“ _Relying on the kindness of strangers”_

**_Carmen_ **

**_~_ **

Louis flutters his eyes open as the bright rays from the sun pulling him out of unconsciousness, he groans tiredly, yawning and stretching his body like a cat would. Louis gasps as sharp pains hits his lower back, he moves his weak muscles to get up as best as he can but a pair of big hands around his waist prevent him from doing so.

Louis turns his head to look at Harry, feeling his blood rush to his cheek immediately. He remembers what happened last night, recalling the fact that Harry has taken his virginity. The boy bites his lower lip, Louis remembers every detail from last night, him crying in panic and fear, Harry glaring down at him and drastically changing his anger to comforting and sweet as he begged for Louis to stop crying.

Even though Louis was drugged and he was practically paralyzed, the boy still remembers exactly what has happened to him.

A grumbling sound comes from behind him, Louis hears Harry muttering something incoherent as the man spooning him pulls him closer to his chest, Louis sighs pliantly, and despite the circumstances, he still feels safe around Harry. Lord knows how long both of them just lay there, awake and not moving an inch, just holding each other tight, enjoying the heat and the soft sheets underneath them. Harry is humming a song under his breath, deep and rough voice from sleep sending shivers up to Louis’ spine.

The song is kind of familiar to Louis, he thinks he might have heard it on his father’s old music player. It’s relaxing, Harry’s voice sounds good, like a lullaby his mother used to sing to him when he was a toddler.

“Morning,” Harry stops singing and pecks his neck, pulling Louis even closer to his chest.

“Hmm.”

“Did you sleep well, my pretty nymph?” Harry asks teasingly as he gently rolls Louis so that he’s now face to face with his boy.

Louis scowls and glares at his step father “Don’t call me that.”

“Don’t call you what, pretty nymph?”

“Stop it, Harry” Louis hisses, “’s'not funny”

Harry laughs. “Okay, okay. But you did sleep okay, right?”

Louis goes silent momentarily, really, his brain is so fucked up. He doesn’t even have the strength to be mad anymore,- “It was okay” he shrugs casually, chuckling when Harry’s lips turn into a playful pout.

“Just okay?”

Louis rolls his eyes and adds “It's the best sleep I've ever had. Happy?”

Harry nods, his green eyes shining as he stares lovingly at Louis. The boy in his arms smiles a little, amazed a little by the fact that Harry looks even younger than before. Maybe its because Harry still has that childish soul in him, the fact that he probably has some sort of psychological disorder that causes him to be like…this. Harry seems so innocent, like Louis' the one who’s fucked up.

“Why are you staring at me like that?” Harry asks fondly, tracing his finger on Louis’ naked waist.

“I never noticed until now, but… you never really look like you’re almost in your forties,” the boy blurts out of nowhere.

Harry winces a little at the mention of his age. “And?”

Louis rolls his eyes again. “And,” he puts an emphasis on the word as he says it. “Perhaps that’s why Mum was so intrigued by you.”

“Well, I suppose I should take that as a compliment?” Harry smirks “Thank you, Lou”

“Whatever, Harry”

Both of them are quiet again, Harry still staring at Louis, secretly enjoying looking at the beauty in front of him and Louis squirms a little before closing his eyes again, drowning in the warm heat of Harry’s skin wrapped around his petite body.

“Lou?” Harry’s rugged voice breaks the silence. “You’re not,” he swallows around the lump in his throat. “You’re not mad are me, are you?”

“I can’t be,” Louis answers, looking up at him. “ I want to be, but I can’t”

“Why?” Harry tucks a strand of Louis' hair behind his ear.

“ I don’t know,” Louis mumbles. “You’re not normal, a sick man If I may say. But I think it’s okay to be sick and… and fucked up. Because I am too.”

“I shouldn’t have drugged you” Harry confesses, feeling ashamed of his previous action. “I just- you were so reluctant towards me every time I tried to touch you even more. And I… I was so desperate, I’ve been dreaming and thinking about months ago and I just couldn’t control myself, okay?” He’s trembling right now. “I truly am sorry”

“Okay,” Louis nods understandingly. “Just promise me that you won’t ever do that again. You scared me so much, Harry.”

“Yeah,” Harry swallows nervously. “I promise I won’t,” he leans closer to Louis, kissing his chin softly. His hands slip around Louis’s waist, pressing their chests together. Harry trails kisses from Louis’s chin to his right cheek then Harry licks the edge of Louis’ lips a little before kissing him. They kiss passionately, this time Louis has as much control as Harry does, the boy sighs contently into the kiss. Louis pulls away once he’s desperate for oxygen, Harry is chuckling like a fool at the swell and redness of Louis’s lips.

“Do you want to take bath?” Harry asks softly “I really need that.”

“Together?”

“Yes.”

Louis furrows his eyebrow for a moment before nodding, “Okay”

Harry unwraps his arms from around Louis and gets up from the bed. He walks to the Louis’s side, almost tripping over his boxers, he smirks a little at the feeling of Louis’s eyes on his body. Harry leans down and kisses Louis’s forehead, lifting the boy up like a groom would do to his bride.

“This is fun,” Louis giggles against Harry’s neck.

“I know,” Harry agrees. He steps into the bathroom, silently thanking God that the door is already open.

The bath up is fucking huge, like it's originally designed for two people. Harry put s Louis down on his feet and the boy sits on the edge of the tub while Harry gets the water and bubbles ready.

The curly haired man dips into the tub first, then Louis follows him with a giddy smile. Harry rests his head against the porcelain, moaning lowly when he feels Louis leaning back into this chest. Neither of them move for twenty minutes, just enjoying the warm water against their skin, and smell of the soap.

Harry bathes Louis in silence, he gives the boy a light massage on his back as shampoos his own hair. The step father feels slight guilt when he sees the bruises littering Louis’s inner thighs and hips.

Harry rubs them gently, whispering apologies and praises to Louis as he does so. After that, it's Louis turn to bath Harry, he struggles a little at first, handling Harry’s huge body with his small and tiny hands, but Louis manages just fine in the end.

They don’t, well Harry doesn’t make any sexual moves and has no intention of doing so. It’s so innocent that both of them do nothing but clean each other. Louis requests for them to get out of the tub once he notices that he starts to get wrinkles from the water. Harry hands him a towel, and grabs one for himself, and they dry themselves in a comfortable silence. Louis refuses to be carried again, the boy waddles back to the bedroom, leaving Harry smirking in pride.

Both of them get dressed and head down to the restaurant to have some breakfast, Harry carrying Louis again. The boy hides his head in the crook of Harry’s neck, pretending that  he’s still sleepy. Harry cannot have Louis waddling with him, it will provoke people to question what’s wrong with the boy and that’s the last thing Harry wants to happen.

After they’re stuffed with food, Louis says that he wants to go outside, Harry agrees with him without hesitation of course. The hotel is pretty much deserted now, so its fine for Louis to move on his own feet. Harry drives Louis to the nearest park he can find and they play there as though they are both children.

“Harry?” Louis tilts his head to look at him. They’re now sitting on the bench nearby the small pond, Harry with his gangly legs crossed in an Indian style.

“Yeah?”

“Can we call mum?” He sounds nervous, afraid that Harry will snap at him again. “I-I know that I can’t see her, but at least we-we can talk, right?”

Harry shifts his eyes away from the boy next to him, he knows that he’s trapped now. Harry can’t tell Louis another lie, what more could he possibly say to the boy? That they cannot use telephones now?

“Louis…” Harry starts. “There’s something that I need to tell you”

Louis frowns, “What is it?”

“I’ve been lying to you this whole time” Harry croaks

“Lying?” Louis asks, confused. “Harry, what have you done?”

Harry stands up, gulping the bile in his throat, disgusted with himself. It feels like the day suddenly turns dark, the park is great, but to Harry now its feels like a graveyard. “You should acknowledge that I did this for you.” He clenches his eyes shut, “I never intended for this to happened, I-I did care for your mother, even though I didn’t love her but I would never want to hurt her. But she- she fo-“

“Harry,” Louis cuts him off, sounding so stern you wouldn’t think that he’s thirteen “Harry, what did you do?”

The man looks down at the boy nervously, his lips are trembling as he does so. “Joanne’s not sick,” his voice is quaking. “She never was”

“Was?” Louis gasps. “Harry? What did you do to my mother?!” The boy hisses, getting up from the bench and looking at him accusingly.

“Your mother,” Harry swallows. “She,” he steps closer to Louis, wincing when the boy takes a step back away from him. “Louis, she’s dead” Harry finishes his sentence weakly.

~

“ _Hold me in your arms. Love me like your best friends did, I promise I won’t hurt you, kid”_

**_Never Let Me Go_ **

**_~_ **

Louis cries for two days.

When they got back to the hotel, the boy sprinted into the bedroom in a flash and threw himself onto the bed, hiding his face on the pillows as he cried his eyes out. Harry attempted to comfort him, but the boy just cowered away from him. Harry’s apologies and explanations fell on deaf ears.

The man repeatedly told the boy what happened to his mother, and how did she died. Louis just kept sobbing quietly, not moving a muscle and Harry couldn’t really guarantee whether Louis was listening or not. They didn’t go down to have dinner or breakfast, Harry had decided to order room service. But like always, nothing ever goes as well as Harry plans, and Louis refused to eat.

When Harry took a bath later in the evening, Louis dared to get up and took a couple of bites of his tuna sandwich.

Up until today, Louis only spoke to him when he needed to.

The boy looks so miserable, he has bags under his red eyes, his lips are swollen red and its not even because of Harry’s kisses. What makes Louis’ heart breaks into piece is when he remembers how badly he had treated his mother, how he had ruined everything. Louis wants to be mad at Harry too, but it seems after so many times of trying to do so, the boy just cannot get angry at his step-father.

And somewhere in Louis’ normal childish mind, he cries because he’s just realized that he is practically an orphan now.

“So, you’re my only legal guardian, now?” Louis asks when Harry’s reading the newspaper, it’s pretty quiet and warm in the afternoon. Louis isn’t looking at him though, his eyes are blank as he hugs his knees to his chest, resting his back against the headboard.

Harry puts the newspaper down and smiles a little at him, glad that Louis is no longer in tears “Yeah, I am.”

“And, and if I am not pleased with the fact you have custody over me,  what will happen?”

“You’ll be send to the foster home. Why?” Harry furrows his eyebrows. “Are you telling me that you don’t want to stay with me?”

Louis stares at Harry, blue meets green. “I don’t know,” he scratches his elbow, feeling somewhat itchy there. “I-I don’t. I want to be with you, I guess. I was just wondering”

The older man stands up from the sofa and crawls into the bed, sitting next to the mourning boy. “I will never hurt you, Louis,” Harry vows. “If that’s what you’re afraid of, I will never, ever hurt you. That’s the least I can do for your mother”

Louis bites his lip in uncertainty, trailing his eyes around Harry’s face, he hopes that his step-father means what he’s said. Louis is scared, he doesn’t have anyone else, his mother fought with her sisters so his aunts hate his guts. His father was an only child and all of this grandparents from both sides are deceased. Louis is alone, no one can protect him beside Harry. But what fear the boy most is that Louis doesn’t have anyone to protect him _from_ Harry.

“Do you really mean it, Harry?” Louis asks, his voice trembles a little with worry and hope.

Harry nods, “Yeah, I don’t break my promises”

The boy smiles a little, the anxiousness going away. There’s no reason to be worried, Louis assures himself. “Okay. I believe in you, Harry,” and he’s hugging Harry now, his thin arms wrapped around Harry’s big torso, feeling safe and serene for once.

Harry never breaks his promises, when he’s committed to something, he means it.

But there’s always a first time for everything, right?

~

_“You’re like so sick, everybody has said it”_

**_American_ **

_~_

When summer ends, Harry decides to move to Yoxford in  Suffolk, the Eastern side of England. He assumes since Yorkshire is up North, it will be difficult for people to track him. Although Harry wasn't really affected by the encounter with the creepy man at the bar a month ago, the curly headed man just wants to be safe and prepared for the worst thing that can happen to him and Louis.

The town itself is very quiet, with only about 3000ish people who live there, it makes it possible for Harry and Louis to stay in peace without disturbance from outside. Here, people usually get their income from farming and gardening, there’s literally so many farms and gardens you can find in Yoxford. The distance between one house and another is pretty far, its like you live back in the Victorian age.

Louis goes to the small school, not really that far from the house. He makes friends fast there, the boy is so estatic because there’s a drama club running in the school. Louis once told Harry that one day when he grows up, he’d like to be an actor or at least a drama teacher. So basically, this town is a dream and safe place for both Louis and Harry.

They manage to be seen as a normal family, whose mother and wife just died and they are trying hard to cope with it. Harry keeps selling his books, the money always comes consistently so it’s not a problem for him at all. Louis is doing great in school, being one of the most popular and bright pupils, giving people the impression that the Styles family is almost perfect.

Louis also gets the name “Styles” attached to his last name. He doesn’t get rid of the ‘Tomlinson’, of course. The boy’s name is now: Louis William Tomlinson-Styles. Their life is going great, any drama finally come to an absence, to put it short and simple; Harry and Louis live almost normally.

Well, except the fact that they have a sexual relationship behind closed doors.

Ever since they moved in, Louis had been so cold towards Harry, every time the man begged him to have sex. Louis becomes reluctant again, like he’s unwilling to be touched by Harry and it actually frustrating for him. Maybe its wrong for Harry, no matter if Louis at some point wanted or still wants to have intercourse with him by his own will, Harry as a man and a father should have refused to fulfill his son’s wishes. But he cannot help it, he wants it too. And sometimes, when Harry is so desperate, he won’t let Louis go out with his friends unless he sleeps with him first.

Today is one of those days.

Louis had told him last week that one of his friends, Stan, is planning to have a barbecue party with his family, and he’s inviting all of his classmates, including Louis. But every time the boy asks Harry, the man ignores him or tries to change the subject and Louis is dreading to have a party with his new friends, he wants to have fun like the other kids. But unless he’s going to school, he cannot leave the house without his step-father’s permission.

“Harry, can I go to Stan’s party tomorrow, please?” Louis begs for the hundredth time this evening.

Harry doesn’t move his eyes from his book, shaking his head as he flips the page. “No, Louis”

“But, why?” the boy whines pathetically “I’ve done all of my homework, and also my chores, you said that I could go if I’ve done my tasks”

“I never said that,” Harry replies sternly, his eyes still on the pages filled with political protests from the author, “I said, If you’re done doing all of your duties, I will think about it”

“Well?”

“The answer is still no”

“But-“

“I said no, Louis!” Harry snaps, slamming the book down his desk and glaring at Louis “That is final, you cannot defy me”

Louis is looking into his eyes hard now, green and blue are glaring at each other. “What if,” the boy gulps nervously, “What if I said I’d do anything for you, if you let me go”

Harry’s eyes soften a little, “What are you trying to imply, Lou?”

Louis walks to Harry, sitting on the man’s lap and facing him. “You can have me,” he offers, wrapping his thin arms around his father’s neck, pulling their chest close together. “I’ll let you do anything you want me to” he whispers in Harry’s ear, making the man shiver a little. “I will let you do anything want _to me._ ”

“Louis,” Harry glares at the boy who is now straddling him. “Louis,” he hisses again, “What are you trying to do?”

Louis smirk a little as pushes his body closer to Harry until his upper body is practically on top of his step-father’s. “What do you think?” The boy raises his eyebrow teasingly, it’s so obvious that Louis is so desperate now, he never initiates sex, it’s always been Harry.

“Are you…” Harry croaks. “Are you offering me sex?” he stares at Louis incredulously.

“Hmm,” the boy nod.s “If you’re so persistent about me not going to Stan’s party, this is the least I can offer to you,” he says casually, flicking his cerulean eyes to Harry’s green ones. “Daddy”

Harry throws his head back and groans pitifully. “Fuck” he curses. “You, You’re calling me that now?” Harry asks in disbelief, vaguely trying to think rationally, “You’re paying me with sex so that I’ll allow you to go to that bloody party”.

Then something flips inside of Harry’s brain, something that he's just noticed and realized now, something that he’s too blinded by guilt to even pay attention to.

“You little slut” Harry growls angrily, wrapping his arms around Louis’ thin waist and turning the boy roughly, switching their position so that he’s on top of him now. Louis’ eyes widen in surprise at Harry’s sudden mood change, “I thought you were just an innocent child in mind, do you know how bad I felt after I took your virginity, Louis?” Harry asks as he glares at Louis, his fingers digging into the boy’s hips firmly.

Louis shakes his head, “I didn’t” he swallows nervously, “I didn’t kn-“

A bitter chuckle from Harry cuts Louis’ sentence off. “Of course you didn’t know, because you’re just so familiar with dirty things, aren’t you?” Harry taunts, his hands are now slipping inside Louis’ pajamas pants. “You were just so good at acting, maybe you wanted me to feel awful that I’ve corrupted you”

“Harry,” Louis whimpers. “I never did that,  I swear,” he swears pathetically, blue eyes welling up with tears from fear and humiliation.

“Liar,” Harry says, yanking Louis pants down, he’s so angry right now, feeling so stupid at the realization that he’s just been fooled by a boy he loves, a grin breaks out from his lips when Louis yelps in panic.

He bites back a groan and without giving the poor boy a warning; Harry pulls Louis up andslings him over his shoulder, padding away to the bedroom as he carries Louis with him. Once the pair arrive, Harry throws Louis onto the bed without any hesitation, earning a low sob from him.

Hurriedly, Harry takes his clothes off, leaving Louis as the only clothed person in the room. “You know,” Harry says, his deep voice breaking the thick tension in the room. “I’m not going to play nice with you anymore, Louis. You used me,” he chuckles. “Funny, I thought I was the only bad guy here, turns out you’re not as pure as I thought you were, eh?”

Louis opens his mouth to speak but Harry kisses his lips hard before he even gets the chance to say a word to defend himself.

“Sneaky boys don’t talk,” Harry announces sternly, his green eyes glaring at Louis again, making him shudder. Then Harry’s kissing him again, this time though, he kisses him back, clumsily moves his lips against the man’s, they kiss languidly until they have to pull away breathe.

Harry leans in to Louis again, he licks Louis’ lower lip with his tongue and slips it into the boy’s mouth, moaning at the sweet taste inside, Louis is following his movement, tongues trailing each other’s mouth, they continue to explore until Louis runs out of breath. The boy puts his small hands on Harry’s chin and pulls him away gently as he gasps for breath.

Harry slips his large hands inside of Louis’s shirt, hands trailing and stroking the soft skin underneath his palms, he smiles and gives Louis another pecks as an idea flashes through his mind. Harry runs his right hand to Louis’ left nipple and gives it a tweak.

Louis gasps in pain, he’s always been sensitive there and it hurts so much when someone touches his nipples. “Harry. Harry stop” Louis pleads, whines are coming out of his mouth as his father keeps tweaking his nub.

But his pleads don't reach Harry’s ears, the man pinches the nipple again, fingers rubbing at the now swollen nub. Louis lets out a whimper, his hips wriggling below Harry, trying to get away, tears pooling in his eyes again from the agony on his chest. Harry moves his left hand onto Louis’ hips, grasping them tight to prevent Louis from making another move, small hands are poking his biceps, trying to get his attention.

“Harry,” Louis calls again, his voice is getting hoarse. “Please stop, it hurts”

“No” Harry says, his fingers continued rolling against Louis’ nipple, playing with it like a toy.

“Harry…” The boy whimpers, sobs racking throughout his body as he starts to cry. “I-it’s so sensitive over there. Stop please…”

As if God hears his prayer, Harry pulls his hands off him. The man straightens up a little until he’s sitting on the bed, his large hands are wrapped around Louis’ bare thighs, spreading them apart and he positions himself between them, the boy sighs in relief when his nipples are no longer being abused by Harry. Harry smiles at Louis, he’s lying there pliant and content, with his blue eyes wet from tears. “Take off your shirt,” Harry orders.

Louis does what his father tells him immediately, little hands scramble around the hem of his shirt as he takes it off his body. Once Louis is completely naked, he lies back on the bed again, smiling proudly as Harry whispers praise to him for being a good little boy.

Soon enough, Harry’s back attacking Louis’s chest again, his plump lips wrapped around his boy’s swollen nipple, suckling at the nub as his tongue licks at the slit, as if Louis will leak some milk if Harry tries to suck harder.

Harry’s other hand attaches to Louis’ yet untouched nipple. His thumb and pointer fingers twisting, scraping the nub like he did previously, Harry is smirking when he feels Louis start to tremble, breathy moans and whimpersfalling from his mouth.

Harry rubs over Louis’ right nipple with his fingers, his nails scraping sharp against the bud, earning a scream of pain from Louis, he’s squirming so hard under Harry now, his hips wriggling, desperate to get Harry off him.

A low groan comes from Harry’s throat as Louis’ little hands tugon his curly hair in attempt to get Harry’s head off his nipples, Louis keeps trying to pull the man’s mouth away from his chest, because dear god it hurts so much.

After Harry has played with Louis’ nipples enough, he takes his mouth and hands off Louis’ chest. Louis’ nipples look so ruined and abused, the nubs are swollen and red, with red marks around them from Harry’s nails scraping roughly into the skin, and Louis has never looked so beautiful in Harry’s eyes. Harry looks at Louis’ face, there he sees his little boy clenching his eyes shut as tears keep falling down, Louis looks so ruined and pretty and Harry isn’t halfway done with him, a rush of arousal runs through his lower stomach as Harry curls his lips into a smile.

This will teach Louis a lesson.

Harry gets up from the bed and walks to the drawer near the bathroom. “Don’t move,” he warns Louis, and with a bottle of lube in his hand, Harry steps back into the bedroom.

He crawls up until his mouth is ghosting over Louis’ neck, hot breath hitting the sensitive skin, creating goosebumps all over surface. Harry places small kisses down Louis’ chin and trails down to his earlobe, nibbling and sucking on it like he did on the boy’s nipple, he scraps his teeth against the soft flesh earning a moan from Louis, this time Harry knows that it’s from pleasure.

He pulls away and stares down at the beautiful creature underneath him, smirking widely as he caresses Louis’ soft hair with his right hand, “I’m not going to be gentle, Lou” he says sweetly, his lips grinning like a Cheshire cat.

Louis doesn’t say anything, he opens his eyes to reveal those blue eyes that are now red from tears, he looks so scared, his mouth gaping like a fish like he’s trying to say something but is too overwhelmed to do so. For once Harry isn’t affected by this, his brain believes that Louis is just simply good at acting and he wants to put the guilt on Harry and well,- this time it won’t work.

Harry puts Louis’ thighs around his waist roughly, he leans into the boy until they’re both are hips to hips. Harry moves against Louis lazily, grinding his cock against him, looking for some friction to make his cock hard.

 A weak whine comes from Louis mouth as the boy feels his cock hardening, Harry squirts a good amount of lube into his right hand while his left moves to Louis’ arse, spreading the cheeks apart until the hole is bare for Harry to see. Harry can feel Louis shuddering as the cool air hits his sensitive part. Harry rubs his first finger against the puckered hole, circling on the rim before he slips it in.

Louis arches his back as Harry’s finger touches his walls, moving it in and out roughly. He mewls in pain when a second finger is inserted, Harry starts to scissors his ring of muscles, spreading the walls for his cock, Harry isn’t exactly ‘average’ after all.

After a third finger is in, Harry’s thrusting his digits in and out of Louis steadily, curling his fingers to stretch the muscles but keeps them away from Louis’ prostate. Harry takes his fingers out as Louis lets out a breathy whine, buckling his hips down for more fingers as the boy sighs in disappointment.

Harry chuckles bitterly and rubs more lube along his length, not too much but enough to not tear Louis’ hole apart. Harry grunts deeply as he pushes his cock into Louis’ arse, the rim reddened as it stretches around his thick girth, painfully trying to adjust to Harry’s size. Louis keens at the feeling of Harry’s cock entering him, his cock is throbbing and it feels so hot inside him Louis can feel pleasure budding though his body once Harry’s cock is nestled inside him.

But Harry sticks to what he says, with his hands now digging tight into the boy’s hips, Harry pulls his cock out so that the foreskin is just on Louis’ rim before slamming back in again. Louis’ body jolts in pain from the rough fucking, Harry continues his rough pace, thrusting his cock in and out harshly barely giving Louis a time to adjust to his big size. The poor boy is now crying with pain as his father keeps abusing his body over and over. Louis moves his weak arms to reach Harry’s back, his nails scratching the skin sharply as Harry cock keeps fucking into him deeper and faster.

Harry’s thrusts are careless, so obvious that he isn’t trying to please anyone but himself, he aims into nothing, not caring about Louis’ sweet spot in the slightest.  Louis is whining as Harry pumps his cock harder into his abused tunnel, Harry keeps ramming into him hard and Louis almost squeals in shock when Harry’s cock brushes over his prostate.

Unfortunately for Louis, Harry knows that he has just hit his prostate and he really doesn’t want Louis to enjoy this in the slightest. The man makes sure to avoid the boy’s spot as he continues his pace, Harry is so blinded by his rage and maybe its no longer his conscious mind that’s controlling his body, all in his brain is that he just wants to teach Louis a lesson for playing with him. He wants revenge.

Louis wobbles his lips like a baby and starts to cry, like he’s really crying so hard right now, his chest heaves up and down as sobs rack his petite chest that’s now also being crushed by Harry’s much bigger frame, with every each thrusts the man gives down into him.

Harry growls angrily, hating the fact that Louis is trying to do what he did the first time Harry fucked him, he’s fooling Harry again. “Don’t fucking cry,” he hisses, his movements are now rushed, a sign that he’s getting desperate to come.

Louis shudders out a breath so that he can relax himself from crying, he’s so scared of Harry right now, he’s hurting so bad, his arse burns. The boy bites back a cry when he feels his sore nipples being tugged and sucked again, Louis is so tired and in pain that he has no choice but to just lie down and submit to Harry.

Harry moans loudly as a pit of hot pleasure around his cock run to his stomach, he fucks into Louis’ pliant body harder, if it is possible, leaning down to bite the boy’s nipples hard and scratches the other with his nail sharply; then Harry’s gone. He throws his head back and shouts jumbles curses as his cock spurts sperm into Louis’ ruined hole.

“Please,” Louis finally says, his voice is so low that its sounds like a breathy whisper. “Please get off of me, Harry,” he lets out a weak sob, small hands on Harry’s chest, trying to push him away. “It hurts”

“Don’t call me that ever again, Louis” Harry snaps, he yanks Louis’ hair, forcing the boy to look at him. “I’m your father, call me that from now on. Like you did when you were trying to act like a desperate little bitch.”

“Okay,” Louis agrees immediately, he just wants Harry off him right now.

“Okay what?” Harry raises his eyebrow, growling as  he feels his cum starting to ooze out of Louis’ fucked out hole.

The boy sniffles a tear and jerks his head tiredly. “Okay, Dad”

The man smiles and then he’s pulling his cock out of his son’s hole, liking the way his cum trails down from Louis’ arse to the sheets.

“Good boy.” Harry praises, pecking Louis’ forehead before he gets up from the bed and leaves Louis alone in his room, with bruises painted all over his body.

“Oh and by the way,” Harry turns to Louis right before he steps out of the door. “You will not go anywhere without my permission from now on. I hope that teaches you a lesson”

~

_“Not even they can stop me now, their heavy words don’t bring me down”_

**_Radio_ **

**_~_ **

"He's moving to Suffolk"

"Who?"

"Styles, he's moving to a town somewhere in Suffolk."

"So?" The brown haired detective arches his eyebrow.

The dark skinned man who sits in front of him rolls his eyes, he's wearing the same uniform as the brown haired man. "You ought to know that by now"

"Zayn" Liam says, putting unnecessary emphasis on partner's name "The only one who gives a damn about that bloke is you. Even the Captain told us that we have no reason to arrest him"

"No reason to arrest him'?!" Zayn hisses angrily "He went away when his wife died! And- and he didn't even look like he was grieving at her cremation," he reaches for a pile of document that looks strikingly like Joanne Styles' documents. "For all we know, he might have something to do with her death"

Liam sighs, "You know what? I'm not going to bother stalking this Styles man like you do. There's much more important cases that _actually_ need our attention," then the brown eyed detective gets up from his seat, putting down the glass he's holding. His eyes shift to Zayn's hazel ones, "let go of this case, Z. It's wasting your time"

"I just-" Zayn mumbles as he pinches the brigde of his nose in frustration "I've got a feeling that there's something wrong with this Styles man, when I confronted him at some ba-"

"You what?!" Liam exclaims furiously. "You fucking confronted him?! Zayn, if you didn't have any reason to do so, he could bloody well sue us!"

"Relax!" Zayn throws his hands up in the air, " I didn't tell him that I'm a cop, hell I didn't even tell the bloke my name"

"Really?" Liam asks accusingly. "What? You just went to him and he suddenly told you his secrets?!"

"God," Zayn groans under his breath. "I did not tell him a single fucking thing about myself, I just know that he's hiding something or someone"

"Who? How can you know?"

This time, a smirk appears on the quiffed-haired man's face. "Because he said that 'I will never get what he has.'"

~

“ _There’s no remedy, for memory. Your face is like a melody, it won’t leave my head”_

**_Dark Paradise_ **

_~_

Zayn is a very determined person.

When he wants something, he will work his ass off to get what he’s longed for. Zayn will try his hardest to not let anything get into his way, and if his partner doesn’t believe in him, Liam will be damned. The dark skinned man ignores his co-worker’s pleads and warnings to let this case down, Zayn requests a break from Captain Cowell for two weeks, and since last year’s holiday Zayn has worked every week, so his boss grants him his wish.

He’s now driving with his own car to the southern side of England, feeling slightly weird about not hearing the siren from the car. It’s been like years since he drove his personal car. He takes every document he can find about Harry Styles and his wife, he calls every contact that is listed on their files, asking about what this Styles man is like, Joanne’s past, their son and about the late Mr. Tomlinson.

Unfortunately for him though, 95 percent of the people he’s talked to always tell him how perfect and flawless Harry is, that they admire Joanne’s beauty and Louis’ wittiness. They all think that this Styles' family is perfect.

But one person mentions Harry’s past.

Will Sweeny is his name, he confesses to Zayn that Harry and him used to be best friends, that is until Harry met this girl named Raina. Will says that ever since their encounter, Harry always stuck along with her, like they were attached at the hip. The dark haired man admits that he was kind of jealous that this Raina girl has took Harry’s attention off him. Young Harry ignored his best friend for a pretty girl with long and feathery chestnut hair, Will assumes that they were drowned in love.

“I was ignored by Harry, he abandoned me for her,” Will says with a glint of amusement on his eyes. “I didn’t think girls were pretty back then, I was still preoccupied with video games and all that. But Harry, he’s more mature than me, always has been. I remembered one day, he ran to my room and told me that he was in love with her, he looked so happy. But of course, happiness never lasts long.”

“What happened?” Zayn asks with a frown.

“She died,” Will answers. “She died when Harry took her to a club, they were both fifteen at that time, shouldn’t have gone that place. But Harry insisted.” The dark haired man eyes drift down to the table, where the picture of a fourteen years old Harry Styles lies. “It was their anniversary, he asked for my help to make them fake I.Ds”

“Did they get past the guards in the club?”

Will nods and chuckles bitterly. “Oh yes they did, they looked older that they actually were, the guards believed them.” He takes a deep breath before opens his mouth to continue “But that wasn’t the problem, a group of gangsters attacked them both on their way home. Raina was rich, they robbed her money, Harry kept pleading to them to not hurt her”

“But they did?”

“Of course.” Will nods “They slit her throat and forced Harry to watch”

“Christ,” Zayn murmurs under his breath. “What happened then? Did the cops catch the murderers?”

Will hums as he crosses his arms in front of his chest. “They did, but after three years of hunting. Harry almost got killed, but people saw them and it was too late for those bastards to lay a hand on Harry, they ran away.” The man takes a deep breath and leans closer to Zayn, a serious expression tainting his strict-looking face. “Harry is not a bad man, Mr. Malik. Don’t judge people by their behavior, Harry is a very kind person, but life just hates him.”

Zayn raises his eyebrow “What are you gettin-“

“He’s a nice man,” Will repeats, interrupting Zayn from asking another question. “He might have done something that was fucked up, he might have screwed something up, but Harry is a nice person.”

“Mr. Sweeny, I really don’t unde-“

“I think he might be a hebephile?,” Will finish his sentence in a whisper, cringing at his own words.

“What?!” Zayn snaps, startled by the man’s confession. “Are you saying that I’ve let a monster walk around with a _teenage_ boy without any supervision?!” Zayn clenches his fists in fury, unconsciously punching the table from the anger and frustration that's currently filling his brain. “Fuck,” he curses, not caring about the fact that the other man in the room can hear him swearing. “I should have done something”

“He’s not a monster,” Will says carefully. “He might be suffering from a kind of mental disease, but Harry’s not a monster.”

“He’s not a monster?” Zayn hisses. “You basically admitted that the man has an obsession with pubescent kids! Not to mention the fact that his step-son is barely fifteen!”

“I know, bu-“

“Shit, stop defending him!” The dark skinned man fumes angrily. “Why the fuck did you never report this to the police?”

Will glares at him, his grey eyes full with annoyance. “I didn’t think that it was _this_ serious okay?!”

“What? Your ‘best mate’ being a bloody pedo is not _that_ serious?”

“I think that he might be one!” Will exclaims angrily. “But that doesn’t mean that I’m right! Jesus, calm the fuck down! I’m trying to help you here for god’s sakes!”

That statement seems able to calm the detective down, Zayn relaxes himself as he rests his back on the chair, trying to prevent himself from screaming anymore insults towards this Harry Styles man. “Right, Sorry,” he mumbles weakly, “I’m not in my best mood”

“Obviously,” Will notes bitterly. “Look, He never really commited any crimes, okay? Not even a speeding ticket. But before he moved to Yorkshire, I did notice something off with him.”

“What was it?”

“His old student quit school and ever since Harry found about it, he was like- he became withdrawn you know? Like, he just didn’t talk to me or his family”

“And?”

“That wasn’t the first time he had some kind of trouble with his students.” Will admits regretfully, “I never actually paid attention to whom Harry was dating, but after this Tyler boy dropped out of the school, I realized something. Harry always dates people that are younger than him. But their age differences aren’t like between one or two years, always five to ten years younger than Harry.”

“And you think that Harry might have been assaulting his old students?” Zayn presses impatiently.

Will rolls his eyes at the detectives negative suspicions about his old best mate. “No, not assaulting. I don't actually know what the hell happened, but I believe that it was consensual”

Zayn frowns again, “Why you’re so sure?”

“Harry’s not a violent person, he would never hurt a fly,” Will says with a sigh.

“But is there any reason or something that caused Harry to move from Cheshire to Yorkshire? Was he fired because of his Student/Teacher relationship?”

“No one found out about it,” Will looks at his watch, it’s time to pick his daughter up from the day care. “Harry never got fired, like I said, he never committed any crime. You saw it with your eyes, his record is clear. Look, I need to go, but please, if you want to track Harry down or something, don’t hurt him,” he pleads, Zayn can see desperation in his grey pupils. “He’s not a monster, okay? Maybe he has this obsession with teenagers, but I think it’s because of his past, so it’s not really his fault”

The detective doesn’t blink an eye. “He is obsessed with twelve years old, Sweeny.” Zayn states, “Even if he wasn’t a monster, that man is still sick and he needs help.”

“Then give him help,” Will says. “If you can find him, give him help instead of punishment. Harry is not a criminal.”

“Well, I cannot promise that, can I?”

~

“ _Life is so beautiful but you don’t have a clue”_

**_Black Beauty_ **

~

Louis is a brave boy.

He doesn’t get scared of spiders, he’s willing to jump from his roof when Stan dares him to do so, he’s not afraid of anything. His Mum once said that a brave boy is the one that can take over the world, the one that can conquer the sea and treasure the world.

Louis wants to be like that someday, so he must be brave, like Peter Pan and Queen Lucy.

Since then, the boy has never had any fear, he thrives in the trouble he causes, he loves hearing his mum's yells for him, he likes the fact that he doesn’t get scared so easily by older people, he’s daring enough to disobey the rules that are given to him. Louis never gets scared, he can handle everything.

That is until Harry comes.

Until the man comes and starts to ruin him piece by piece.

Louis’ father died when he was three and the only memory Louis ever has about him is when he was sitting on John’s shoulder as he sat at the platform of the swimming pool on a very hot summer day, then Louis remembers one night his Mummy woke him up with tears as she rushed them both to the hospital.

He was barely a toddler back then, but he knew that his Daddy was never going to come back and hug him again.

 

As he grows up, Louis doesn’t have any male role models to teach him things, he gets jealous easily every time he sees his friends playing footie with their Daddies, Louis pouts pathetically as he corners himself in the loo each time he hears his friends bragging that their Daddies just bought them the newest toy from the market.

But Louis is an observant boy, he likes to sits in peace as his blue eyes trail off to watch the people interact with each other, he likes to guess what happens behind their eyes, their background, what they are like at home. Louis watches his Mum carefully, she always puts on pretty dresses and wears make up on her face every time she brought men to their home, he sees how Mum always laughs with her high voice as she gives winks to those men and how them always stay every time Mum puts on a dress that is shorter than before.

Since then, Louis concludes that if he wants to get the same attention from other Daddies, he has to act like his Mum does. So he throws away his big and baggy clothes, Louis starts to wear shorter pants and tighter shirts, because Mum always does it every time men come to their home.

At first, those older people always ignore him, but as the days grow longer and as he gets older, Louis notices the longer glances his Mum’s men give to him every time he bends down to ties his shoelace. And one of Louis’ most favorite things to realize is that those men starting to _pay_ attention to him, they start to buy him gifts and toys to play with.

And Louis loves it.

When he attends Middle High School, Louis realizes that what he’s been doing is not quite right in the eyes of the society, he becomes so confused and torn, but since he is as stubborn as Joanne, Louis decides to ignore it.

Then Harry comes to his life, the fact that Harry _always_ pays attention to him, that he treats Louis like he is the man’s first priority makes Louis feels giddy on the inside. Usually he has to share the spotlight with his Mum, but with Harry,  his Mum is the one that _has to_ share the attention with him. Not the other way around.

So Louis continues doing what he acknowledges wrong with Harry, being so young with his age, Louis never thinks about the consequences. All he knows is that he loves it when Harry gets mad at him, loves it when Harry becomes angry at his attitude, loves it when Harry looks at him with lust burning in his emerald eyes, Louis loves it when Harry treats him like those men treated his Mum.

It makes him feel special, it makes Louis feel normal.

Unfortunately for him though, Harry isn’t as sweet as he thought he would be. Louis never means to play around with the older man, let alone humiliate him, all he does is just try to be playful like his Mum did once. But Harry just flips, he doesn’t get Louis as well as the boy thought he would. It scares Louis to death that Harry has changed, that he’s not that kind man Louis expects him to be.

It’s like Harry has turn into this kind of a monster, he never plays around Louis anymore, when Louis comes home from school, Harry will hurt him over and over and for once in his life;

Louis stops being brave.

None of them should’ve got to this point where everything is just messed up, they both would be fine if they had never met each other, because they bring the worst out of each other.

But since the universe sucked, she makes them interact and fall for one another.

Makes them bring the worse out of themselves.

~

_“My friends and I, we have cracked the code”_

**_Royals_ **

~

“Are you sure you don’t know who this man is, Sir?” Zayn asks the old man for the third time.

“Yes, I am absolutely and utterly sure, young man.” The bald headed man replies, feeling a slight irritation towards the detective. “He must be a newcomer,” he points his wrinkled finger to the picture of Harry Styles. “Otherwise, I’d would have seen him somewhere”

“Well do you know where the newcomers usually live?” Zayn presses on.

“I don’t know,” The man answers. “This is a quite small village, we know each of our neighbors very well, you will have no problem asking every person here, I’m sure they must know something about this Styles man.” He wrinkles his nose curiously “Is he a criminal?”

The dark skinned younger man shrugs his shoulders “He might be,” Zayn says as he gathers the pile of papers that scatters on the table. “If I don’t find him as soon as I can”

“Well,” the old man sighs. “I hope you can catch him, lad. I don’t want my village to be disturb by some bloody criminal”

“Don’t worry, Sir,” Zayn smiles confidently, he gets up from the chair with the documents in his hand. “I will catch this bastard soon”

“Good luck then, Mr. Malik.”

“Thank you and Good day, Sir.”

~

“ _I drive fast, wind in my hair. I push you to the limits because I just don’t care”_

**_Burning Desire_ **

~

Zayn is so very close to giving up.

He has asked almost every person he can find in this bloody and cursed village and none of them know a single fucking thing about Harry Styles. All answers he gets are mostly; “Oh, we have a new man as hot as him staying here?” That’s from the ladies, “Damn, I’m so glad he doesn’t socialize, my wife can’t see him,” the husbands say. “Oh, he looks like a fine lad, why are you chasing this young man again?” the elders ask him back.

What sucks to no end is that Zayn cannot use the government’s device to track Styles, he’s off duty now so he cannot use his job facilities to find this bastard, he has to go back and use the current things that he has, like the detectives back in the Victorian age.

And without wanting to dramatize things, Zayn kind of feels like the newest version of Sherlock Holmes.

It’s about 7.p.m when Zayn feels like he might pass out from exhaustion, he drives about five blocks away from the last household he just interviewed until he finds a local bar. Zayn parks his car in hurry before stepping inside the pub, unconsciously smiling at the smell of alcohol and old woods mixed together, he walks to the bartender and sits with a sigh of relief.

“One glass of whiskey please,” Zayn orders, he looks at the board hanging on the top counter, his stomach grumbles as he sees the menu. “Oh, I’d like a large portion of fish and chips”

“Hungry, much?” the bartender quirks his eyebrow, a foreign accent comes out from his mouth.

“Yes,” Zayn nods as he rests his elbows on the tables. “Had a very long day”

The blonde haired bartender laughs. “I know how that feels, mate.” Ahhh, Irish, he has an Irish accent. “Had to cover my mate’s shift, I worked since like, twelve hours ago”

“That’s brutal” Zayn blurts out.

“Yup” The man agrees. “That’s what is like, I guess”

Zayn hums in agreement, pulling out his phone from his pocket, as he plays with his gadget, the bartender makes him his order, five minutes later the smell of fried chips hits Zayn’s nose.

“There you go, mate. A glass of whiskey and a large portion of fish and chips.” The bartender announces with a warm smile “Now eat, you look like you haven’t eaten in three days”

The detective lets out a laugh before starting to ravish his food. Maybe it is because he’s starving to death but this meal is the best one he's had in months and in less than ten minutes the plate is almost as clean as when it just comes out from the dishwasher.

“Ahh!” Zayn moans happily “Shit, That’s the best one I’ve ever eaten so far”

“I see some extra tips coming,” The bartender smirks, his blue eyes glinting with amusement.

“Mate, I could marry you if all your food tastes as amazing as that,” Zayn sips his drinks, letting a loud moan at how good it feels in his stomach (thank god he doesn’t sound like a pornstar).

“Sorry to turn down that offer.” The blonde man gathers his plate, “I’ve got my wife and son waiting at home.”

“What?” Zayn asks incredulously. “You have a family? You’re like, what? Twenty five?”

“Thirty one, actually.” The man corrects with a laugh, “I’m gonna be thirty two next month”

“Impossible,” Zayn says in awe. “How come you look so young?”

“I don’t know,” the man shrugs, “’m just lucky, I guess.” He walks away from Zayn as a woman comes up to order something Zayn cannot point out, he finishes his drink in seconds feeling he might as well get wasted, Zayn raises his hand to order another shot.

“There you go,” the bartender hands Zayn his drink. “Wait” the blue eyed man furrowed his eyebrow. “Are you new here? How come I've never seen you before? I know everyone here.”

Zayn gulps down the alcohol before putting the glass down. “I’m not from here. I’m a cop, actually, had to come here to track someone.”

“Track someone?” The man asks. “Wait, so like, there’s a bad guy running around here?”

“Kind of,” Zayn confirms, he raises his eyebrow at the realization of something. “What’s your name, by the way?”

“Niall,” the bartender answers “Yours?”

“Zayn”

“Okay, yeah, we know each other’s names now, whatever,” Niall says hurriedly. “Back to my question, are you saying that there’s a criminal in here? In Yoxford?”

“Yes,” Zayn nods, his eyes widen when something crosses his mind. “Wait for a moment,” he says before running out of the bar and grabbing the documents from his car. He walks back inside and slams the files onto the table.

“What the hell is that?” Naill points his finger at the pile of papers.

“That my friend,” Zayn smiles proudly. “Is the data of the bastard I’m trying to find, in fact, I just realized that you’re the last person that I haven’t ask about him yet.”

“Go on, then.”

“Right” Zayn mutters, taking Harry’s photo out of the file, he hands it to Niall with a hopeful look on his face, because fuck, the man is Zayn’s last hope. “Have you seen him around before?”

Niall bites his lip as he stares at the photo in front of him intensely, this is the only bar in town so people always come here for a drink, Niall owns this place, his father left the bar to him, he’s seen people walking in and out of that door since he was five years old. Niall knows everything and everyone. But fuck, he never seen the face on the picture in his entire life before.

“Sorry, Zayn,” he says with a frown. “Never see that face that before”

“Fuck,” Zayn curses under his breath, he groans his frustration as he mutters. “Why the fuck is this Styles bastard so hard to fi-“

“Wait,” Niall interrupts. “What did you just say?”

“Erm, that this man is very hard to find?” Zayn raises his eyebrow awkwardly.

“No, no, no” The blonde man shakes his head “Go back, wait, no, what was the name again?”

“Styles?” Zayn asks “Wait, you’ve heard it before?”

“Yes,” Niall nods, “But like, I heard my son mention something about his friend? His last name is Styles, but he’s thirteen so I guess the kid is not the one you’re looking for?”

“Thirteen, you say?” Zayn questions excitedly, unconsciously leaning closer to the bartender. His lips curl into a big wide smile when Niall confirms his question with a nod. “Fuck! That’s even better!”

“What?”

“Yeah! Like, wait- I cannot tell you about that, it’ll ruin the case.” The dark skinned man rambles happily, he puts all the photos back into the files and pulls out some cash out of his wallet. “Wait, can you tell me where your son and his friend school is?”

“King Henry’s Public School of Yoxford” Niall answers without hesitation and if he wasn't married, Zayn really would kiss him right now, but, wait, he wouldn’t have a son then- “Zayn, this man.. he’s not _that_ dangerous, is he?” The man’s delightful expression turns grim, worried.

“No,” Zayn assures him softly as he gets up from the chair. “I will catch him as soon as possible, so he won’t be a danger”

“You better do.” Niall says “If you ever need anything, just come back here and find me, mate”

The quiffed haired detective smiles brightly “Thank you, Niall. I can't thank you more than enough.”

~

_“Take another drug turn me to ashes, ready for another lie?”_

**_Diet Mountain Dew_ **

~

The King Henry’s Pubic School of Yoxford is an old and sacred school, was built when Henry VIII was  reigning England and Ireland. Being located in a quiet town, the school puts so much attention on every pupil learning in there. They check the student’s background, run a health test, they see their medical records and study every single personality running around the hall of the school.

All the teachers and staffs make sure that no student is left unguarded.

But everyone makes their mistakes, don’t they?

Zayn walks to the school building, a rush of excitement buzzing around his head, this is it, this will put that disgusting bastard down in jail for once and all. When he steps inside the lobby, his breath hitches in amazement at the beautiful crafting hanging on the beige walls around the room. The school is more of a museum rather than a place for young people to learn. Just as Zayn’s ready to pull out the camera in his left a pocket, someone nudges his lower back-

“Excuse me?” A pretty middle aged woman asks him with her brow raised. “Do you have any appointments set with one of the staff, Sir?”

Zayn blinks a couple of times before open his mouth “Erm, N-No” he says stupidly.

A stern expression appears on the woman’s face “I’m sorry, Sir. But you cannot be in here until the school’s time is over”

“But, I’m a d-“

“No,” the woman cuts him off, her icy blue eyes glaring back at him. “You cannot be in here and that’s final. We have a small coffee shop and a public library right next to us, you can go there as you wait for the time to be over”

“I’m jus-“

“Sir,” The woman interrupts him with a hiss again. “You cannot be in here”

Zayn huffs in irritation, “fine,” he rolls his eyes, “I’m going to go to that shop you’re talking about.” He eyes the woman, with a judging look on his face “Thank you, for your, eh… kind gratitude”

And it appears like the woman doesn’t get his sarcasm because she smiles happily that makes the edges of her eyes crinkles as she leads him outside the door “You’re welcome, Sir. You can come back to here, later.”

Zayn rolls his eyes as he turns around and steps out of the lobby, once the cold breeze of autumn hits his neck the man shivers, smiling at the view surrounding him. Despite of the cold attitude he got from the employees there, Zayn must admit that King Henry’s Public School is one of the most beautiful buildings he’s ever seen. The garden kind of reminds him of the one he’d find in the Victorian Houses garden style, old fashioned pattern made of plants and flowers, and huge trees lining up in front of the fences.

The gate itself is fairly big, crafted with pure English ornaments, the golden color shining bright against the sunlight, yeah, this is definitely the most breathtaking school that Zayn has ever laid his eyes on.

The man walks on the pavement until he literally smells a fresh brewed coffee, Zayn enters the room with a bright smile on his face, the smell of scones and muffins fills the cozy air and Zayn really does want to eat the food here. Just like the bar he visited yesterday, the shop is filled by chairs and tables made of oaks.

"Can I help you, Sir? Would you like to order anything?" A black haired girl with dark skinned asks him, a bright smiled littered on her face.

"Of course," Zayn nods as he sits on the chair in the corner. “What do you have on the menu?”

“Well.” The girl pulls out her pen, “We are serving our most famous dark chocolate with hazelnut latte, espresso, and machiatto. As for the cakes, we have blueberry scones, honeycomb cupcakes and chocolate muffins.”

As the waitress says the foods and beverages on the menu, Zayn can perfectly hear his stomach grumble. The image of scones and a cup of latte fills Zayn’s mind as his mouth waters. “I’d like to have the latte and scones, please,” he orders with a sheepish smile.

“Of course, Sir” The waitress laughs. “Your order will be served in ten minutes,” then she walks off the kitchen.

Zayn sighs as he rests his head on the chair, feeling a little bit relaxed since he’s arrived at Yoxford, thought of Styles and his suspicious past goes away from his brain for a moment, just the sound of people murmuring, and the doors clinking sing into his ears as he closes his eyes. A slight nudge on his wrist wakes him up from his slumber, _Damn,_ Zayn curses. He didn’t realize how tired and knackered he is until now.

“There you go, Sir. Dark Chocolate and Hazelnut latte and Blueberry Scones” The waitress puts the dishes down.

“Thank you,” Zayn flashes her his biggest smile.

“You’re welcome, Si.r” She replies with a grin, pointing at the left corner of the shop “I’ll be right in that corner if you needed me.” then she walks off again.

Without inhaling another breath, Zayn digs into his food.

After almost an hour of eating and ordering another cup of coffees and foods, Zayn’s stomach is ready to burst. The detective pays for his food and gives the waitress a pretty large amount of tips that makes the girl squeals in delight and jumps up and down, so happy with the fact that she can finally buy the lastest collection of shoes that she’s been looking for months.

When Zayns steps outside, he notices cars are parking in front of the gate, parents waiting for their children to go out. A sudden rush of panic hits Zayn’s nerves when realizes that there’s large chance that Styles will be picking up his son too, he unconsciously runs into the school’s yard, Zayn wants to talk to Louis as soon as he can, without having Styles acknowledging his presence. That will just destroy his mission.

Lucky for him, the bell rings five seconds after, suddenly all the students begin to running out of the school. Zayn steps into the lobby just to meet the blue eyed woman again.

“Can I help you, Sir?” The woman asks formally, as if she never kicked him out of the building hours ago.

“Yes” Zayn answers “Would you mind showing me the profiles of all the male pupils in here, Ma’am?”

“Depends,” She says curtly “What is the purpose of you doing so?”

“I’m looking for my step-nephew, my step brother told me to pick him up. And quite frankly, I've never seen the boy since he was five when I went to the army.” Zayn lies easily, frowning a little so the woman will (hopefully) believe his story.

“Oh, of course” She nods, apparently isn’t as smart as Zayn thinks she was “What is his name? Your step-brother’s?”

“Styles. Harry Styles” Zayn says, trying his hardest nor to smirk in triumph.

The receptionist types something on the computer before signalling to Zayn to come forward to see the monitor, there he sees a picture of a strikingly pretty looking boy, with blue eyes and chestnut feathery hair. On the right side of the picture, Louis’ basic personal information is displayed, his birthday, age, height, weight, class, and the subjects he took.

Okay.

 _Blue eyes, pretty, caramel, feathery hair, small and short._ Zayn repeats on his brain as he tries to remember those.

“Thank you, Ma’am,” Zayn smiles genuinely as he leans back. “I’ll just wait for him at the gate”

“The pleasure is all mine, Sir,” The woman says before going back typing at her computer.

As Zayn walks, something catches his ears, he turns around when he hears someone yell _Louis_ out loud, a dark haired boy is approaching his small framed friend, whom Zayn assumes is Louis. He cannot put out what the dark haired boy say, but he sounds like he’s disappointed and pouting at Louis. Zayn watches as the caramel haired boy talks nervously, keeping his small hands in his sleeves, tugging at them as if he needs some sort of protection or something.

The dark haired boy, scowls for a moment before he sprints off and leaves Louis alone, the blue eyed boy lets out a sigh in relief before continues walking towards the gate.

“Louis!” Zayn calls out, running into the boy.

Louis stiffens for a moment before he turns around to meet Zayn’s eyes, now the detective feels more worried that before. The boy is ten times better than what he sees in the picture, there’s a bigger chance that Styles is already hurting the poor boy, if Zayn was still a teenager or even a sick, sick pedo himself, he’d be attracted to Louis.

“Y-Yes?” The boy stutters, looking up at him.

“How are you?” Zayn asks breathlessly, attempting to make his face as fatherly as possible. He needs to make Louis feel comfortable around him.

“Urm, I’m fine” Louis mumbles. “Who are you, Sir?”

“I’m Mr. Arwin,” Zayn lies, he cannot risk having Louis telling Harry his actual name. “I’m a writer, and sometimes I write plays for young students and such.”

Louis’ eyes widen, a clear excitement on his face “Really?”

“Hmm” Zayn nods, before continues “And I’d like you t-“

Louis’ unexpectedly flinches and cringes when a range rover appears right in front of the gate. “I-I’m so sorry, Sir,” he whispers, Zayn can hear that Louis’ voice is shaken up a little. “I really have to go”. And before Zayn can say another word, Louis already steps into the black car, there’s no surprise that Harry Styles is the one who’s driving the vehicle, because the range rover races away as fast as it is allowed.

And he has never been so sure about a man’s crime as this one.

~

_“I love you just a little too much”_

**_Serial Killer_ **

~

Harry is not a possessive man. He’s not the kind of person who’s obsessed with his lover and cannot stand the fact that their significant other is interacting with another human being. No, Harry respects the fact that every individual needs to have a social life. So when he sees Louis talking with another man, girl or boy, Harry doesn’t mind it. He knows that his boy is a teenager and he needs time to hang out with people that are his age.

But not when the man he’s talking to is the bastard he met at the bar a couple months ago.

Not when the man he’s interacting with may or may not know what happen between Harry and Louis behind closed doors. So don’t blame Harry for freaking out.

You see, he needs Louis in his life, his heart beats with every breath that Louis takes, his brain works as Louis' mind does. Louis is Harry’s life, and he cannot risk losing that.

The ride to their home is filled with tensed air, tense as if there’s a time bomb ticking behind them, ready to explode. Louis' hugging his petite frame like he’s trying to protect himself, his fingers playing with the sleeves of his sweater, an attire that Louis' been wearing for these past few days. Harry feels pain in his brain, but he’s not dizzy from it. The anger in his chest is building up, clawing at his inner organs to do something. The man always feels like this, every time Louis does or says something, Harry thinks that he’s a lunatic.

“Who is he?” Harry asks, his voice sounds bitter.

“No one,” Louis mutters as he looks down at his hands, suddenly so interested with his fingers.

Harry raises his eyebrow accusingly, already feeling a slight annoyance towards the boy “Oh, really? You’re talking to no one?”

Louis doesn’t answer, just keeps playing with his nails.

“Louis,” Harry hisses through his teeth, clenching his fists around the steering wheel so hard his knuckles turn white. Louis flinches. “Tell me who is he”

That’s not a question, that’s an order. “A writer,” Louis answers softly. “He said that-” the boy gulps down nervously. “He asked me I’m interested to play and join his drama class”

Harry furrowed his eyebrows, a bitter chuckle escapes from his mouth. “You’re already in the drama class in your school, wouldn’t it be rude to join another?”

“Yeah… B-but the one in school isn’t that great, the seniors wouldn’t let me have the chance to get the main role.”

“So you agreed to join his class. You went away with some strange man and told him that you wanted to learn with him without asking for my permission in the slightest.” Harry spits, his green eyes are glaring at the boy who’s sitting in the passenger seat.

“I didn’t!” Louis snaps his head to look back at Harry. “I never do that! Why do you always make horrible assumptions about me?”

“Oi, watch your tone” Harry snaps “Don’t talk to me like that, Louis”

“But I ju-“

“Oh shut up,” Harry cuts him off as he rolls his eyes, getting tired of the boy’s excuses. “We’ll talk about this once we get home”

~

_“Honey, I’m on fire, I feel it everywhere. Nothing scares me anymore.”_

**_-Summertime Sadness-_ **

**_~_ **

Once Harry parks his car, the father and son enter the house. Harry locks the door as Louis puts his bag down onto the sofa, and just before the boy can take off his shoes, Harry pushes him hard against the wall.

“Don’t fucking lie to me, Louis,” Harry says angrily, his face is an inch away from Louis’s. “Fucking tell me who man is.”

“What is wrong with you?!” Louis cries out when he feels pain from Harry digging his sharp nails into his skin. “Stop acting like this! I’m not lying to you!”

Harry growls angrily as he grabs Louis’ small frame before slamming the boy onto the ground. “How dare you talk to me like that?!” he roars, his ears are burning red with fury. “I’m your father, Louis! I have the right to know!”

“I’m not lying! I swear!” Tears are filling Louis’ blue eyes, he’s so tired with this treatment from Harry. Treating him like trash that can just be thrown around. “Why do you keep doing this to me?” Louis sobs weakly.

Harry just glares at him, his fists clench hard, with Louis between them. “I’m your father, I have the right over you.”

Louis laughs hysterically at Harry’s answer, tears falling as he does so. “My father?! What kind of a father abuses his own son? And rapes him over and over!”

The older man lets out an inhumanly growl as he wrap his right hand around the boy’s neck, gripping it tight to choke Louis. “Don’t you dare use that against me! You knew what you’d expect from me! From _us_! Don’t you fucking use that against me!”

The small boy is writhing around like a worm in heat, his small fingers clawing at Harry’s hands as the man on top of him continues choking him. Louis’ eyes widen as his oxygen is cut off, and he lets out a gurgling plea for Harry to get off him. The feeling of being helpless and pathetic makes something turn inside Louis, the rage and desperation that he's buried deep down in the bottom of his conscious mind is boiling with fury and vengeance, and despite of the lack of oxygen, Louis moves his left foot with all energy that’s left and kicks the man’s crotch.

Instantaneously, Harry takes his hands off the gasping boy’s neck and crumbles down onto the floor as he screams in agony. Louis uses this moment to his advantage, he shakily stands up and runs into his room, locking the door twice and pushing his drawers against it to prevent Harry from breaking the door through.

Louis is a crying mess now he’s alone, old memories from his short life are flashing back into his young brain, it feels like he’s being choked to death by Harry again. The realization of how awful his life has turned out makes Louis want to chop out all of his organs, the fact that he _knows_ it is all his own fault and stupidity to begin with drains all the sprit that’s barely staying inside him.

Then the small framed boy breaks, he curls himself into a ball as he cries hard like a child. It is like everything suddenly hits his rational brain, Louis finally acknowledges how fucked up this life he lives is. And for once in his life, Louis misses his mother’s presence around him. He longs for his parents as his normal childlike mind is screaming for an adult’s serenity. 

The boy is bawling so hard that he doesn’t even notice his own chants for _Mum, Mummy I need you. I need you, Dad. Mummy, come back please. Mum, I’m scared.  I want to go home, please, Mummy…_

~

_“I learnt not to want the quiet of the room with no one to find me out”_

**_Bravado_ **

~

Marguerite Haze is a very dedicated woman, when she loves something that she does, she will devote her life to it. Her job is one of the many things that she loves to do, she loves being a counselor, she thrives on the fact that students always come to her office and seek her advice. She loves that the students love her, loves the fact that they _need_ her.

So, that is why she has committed all she has into this job. Margee always stays up late in her office as she analyzes every student’s developments and not a single thing slips beneath from her sharp eyes.

But then again, people always makes a mistake, don't they?

A loud knocking sound comes from the door in the corner of the room, making Margee startle for a brief moment. “Come in,” she calls out politely, putting her pen down on the desk.

“Is this Mrs. Haze’s office?” An average built man with quiffed hair and dark skinned tilts his head through the crack of the open door.

“Yes,” Margee answers, her stern voice echoing around the room.  “How can I help you, Mr…?”

The man walks  to the front of her desk, lowering himself into the chair. “It’s Detective, actually,” he says, offering his right hand for her to shake. “Detective Malik, from  Cheshire”

“Ah” The woman says as she shakes the younger man’s hand back. “As you know, I’m Marguerite Haze, this school’s counselor, and to what do I owe you this pleasure if I may I ask?”

“Well,” The man starts solemnly, his right hand digging through his bag and he pulls out a hand full of papers that look like very important documents, with the title ‘Restricted’ and a metallic seal. “I don’t believe that this will be a delightful meeting, I’m here to investigate a student, Ma’am”

Marguerite furrows her eyebrows as she crosses her arms in front of her chest, feeling a slight annoyance at the fact this young man’s basically saying that there’s a troubled student in _her_ school. “I’m sorry, but that is such a harsh accusation. What could possibly make you think that one of my students is involved with some kind of a crime?”

“There’s no need to worry, Ma’am,” Detective Malik chuckles. “This student is not the suspect of the crime, but unfortunately, he might be the object of it.” He opens the seal of the files and hands out a document with _Harry Styles_ written on the paper. Malik opens the first page and Margee can see a picture of a strikingly handsome man with curly hair dark brown hair and green eyes. “Have you seen this man before, Mrs. Haze?”

The counselor purses her lips as she tries to remember all the faces that she has seen in the past months, but that face, this Harry Styles man seems so foreign to her brain. “I don’t think so, Sir.  If you don’t mind, would you please explain to me who this man is?”

“Are you familiar with his last name, Ma’am?” Malik raises an eyebrow, quite obviously, he’s ignoring her request.

Marguerite frowns for a moment, “I think, I’ve heard that name somewhere”. She turns to her computer as she types ‘Styles’ on the search bar. “Ahh, there he is. Louis Tomlinson-Styles”. The woman clicks the link that directs to all data and records of L. Tomlinson-Styles. “Does this boy has something to do with your suspect?”

The corner of the Detective’s mouth turns to a smile. “Yes, as you can see there, Harry Styles is the legal guardian slash step father of Louis Tomlinson and he might be the poor boy’s abuser.”

“Sorry? Abuser? Are you serious?” Marguerite asks incredulously, her gray eyes widening in shock.

“Unfortunately, yes, I am,” Malik replies with a nod. “Now, you must answer my questions seriously, have you noticed something strange or odd about this Louis boy?”

“No,” Margee answers immediately, sounding so confident with her answer. “I know each of the students well, Mr. Malik. Louis is one of the brightest pupils in here, he has an exceptional talent at Arts, especially acting and singing. The boy is a ball full of energy, are you sure you’re looking at the right person?”

The man in front of her lets out a frustrated sigh, he pulls out another document with Louis’ mother’s name written on it. “This is Joanne Styles, formerly Tomlinson.  He points at the late Mrs. Styles’s picture. “As you can see, she’s deceased. She passed away about six to seven months ago, Mrs. Joanne Tomlinson married Harry Styles exactly forty days before her death, Ma’am. And according to the neighbors and her maid, the new  Mrs. Styles had been sleeping separately from her husband, while Harry stayed in a motel a couple blocks away from the old Tomlinson residence. “

“So?”

Malik rolls his eyes as he continues “ _So,_ the night of the day that Joanne was killed, her husband wasn’t there with her, in her house. Now this might seem  a normal coincidence given the fact that Mr. and Mrs. Styles were staying separately and all that, and obviously, Mr. Styles is not the suspect of the murder since it was purely  a car accident.

“But what catches my eye, is that when we were at her recrimination, Harry Styles did not look sorry or like he was grieving in the slightest. My partner told me that I was being irrational, but I just couldn’t get this family out of my head, Mrs. Haze. There’s just something odd about Harry, so I decided to check on his background, then I met his childhood friend and he told something that makes me certain this Styles has to be kept away from your student”

“What is that, Sir?”

“He is a hebephille. It is one of the several types of chronophillia, as we all know, we’re more familiar to the term of pedophilia; where an adult is attracted to a child under ten years old. But in this case, hebephilia is a level above pedophilia, a person who’s suffering or has it, is attracted to pubescent children, especially in between the age of eleven to fifteen years old.” Malik states, his index finger pointing at Margee’s computer, where Louis’ picture is being displayed.

“And Louis here, is a thirteen year old boy. I’m afraid that he is the victim of this case, Mrs. Haze. And it is my responsibility as a member of Law Enforcement to protect every single one of our citizens, so please, Ma’am. You have to think again, is there something odd in the slightest that you have even seen from Louis?”

“Oh god” Marguerite Haze gasps as she pinches the bridge of her nose, she puts her glasses down on the desk, leaning back to her chair. Margee closes her eyes as she thinks again, trying to remember every single detail that she has noticed about Louis Tomlinson-Styles, but this boy is magnificently normal, he’s right witty and a very talented boy for his age. His grades are relatively excellent, although his academic records aren’t as good as his Art’s, but they are pretty decent, the boy can play sports too, he has a big potential of being the next footie’s captain, although never wants to do sports that have something to do with wat-

“Swim,” Marguerite blurts out once everything starts to make sense to her. “He doesn’t swim”

“Urm,” Malik says awkwardly “Ma’am, I’m sorry but the fact that Louis doesn’t swim will not be a convincing evidence to arrest Harry Styles, is th-.“

“No” The counselor interrupts him. “That-that’s not what I’m trying to say. Louis… he _can_ swim, but he just doesn’t want to. Every time the coach asks him to, he always refuses, telling Mr. Anthony that he is sick or something. We don’t really think of this as such a big of a deal, since Louis has a marvelous record in football and the school expects each student to master at least one sport, so we think that it is normal for him to being resentful towards swimming.

“But according to his friend, Stanley Lucas, Louis never bathes in the school’s showers, or least together in the locker room with his friends. Mr. Lucas says that Louis is uncomfortable showering with the other pupils, as a counselor, I concluded that he’s just simply not comfortable with his own body. So I decided to never bother or ask the boy about it, in order to prevent some sort of anxiety or self-confidence problems.”

“Oh,” Malik says “So basically, Louis is afraid of being shirtless?”

“Yes” Marguerite nods. “Do you think, you know, let’s just say, in the very worst scenario that Louis is already being abused by his step-father? And he is scared  people will see the bruises on his skin?”

“That would make sense.” The man agrees, excitement appearing on his rugged face. Malik shifts his eyes into the wall calendar that’s hanging right beside Mrs. Haze’s book shelf. “If I am correct, the finals will be held next week, won’t they?”

“Yes, Mr. Malik. We will conduct the final examination to evaluate all students whether they deserve to pass the term and go on into the next grade or not. “

“And will all the subjects be tested?” Malik asks with an obvious smirk on his face.

“Yes, including swimming lessons,” Mrs. Haze responds with a smile. “I will watch how the evaluation goes by myself, Detective, and I will make sure that every student has to try that examination, with no exception”

The young man who’s sitting in front of her desk smiles widely, he stands up as he gathers all the papers and puts them into his bag. “Very well, then I will make sure that I’ll have all of my officers prepared with apprehend Harry Styles.”

“Of course,” Margee smiles as she stands up, offering her hand to the detective. “I will also inform the staff and the coach about this, Detective”

“Thank you so much for your help, Ma’am,” Malik says with a grin as he shakes the older woman’s hand.

“It’s an honour for me to do so, Sir.”

~

“ _Heaven is a place on earth with you”_

**_Video Games_ **

_~_

The days pass without another stunt being pulled by either Harry or his step-son, after realizing that he almost choked his own nymphet to death, Harry's started being resentful toward Louis. Although it is not in a bad way, the man just plainly ignores the boy. They barely speak to each other, Harry always drives and picks Louis up from school, but on the car ride the pair are too preoccupied listening to the sounds that come from the radio.

These are the times that they can almost being distinguished as a normal family.

Ironically, Harry starts to act like a _normal_ father should. Gone are all the inappropriate touches and begging, the older man hasn’t yet touched the terrified boys in four days. Despite the healthy pattern starting to follow these two males, anyone can tell that Harry Styles is about to lose his mind. Louis plainly resembles drugs, he’s addictive to Harry, and the man aches to touch him. It makes Harry wants to chop his own skin every time his conscious forces him to _be_ normal.

It is exactly one day before Louis’ finals when Harry decides to sort things out with his step-son. The boy is sitting at the breakfast bar, with a glass of apple juice in his left hand as his right is scribbling down something in his biology handbook. Louis’ eyebrows are furrowed, his lips are pursed and to Harry, he looks like a little doll from those classic movies he’s seen in the theaters. Louis is so absorbed in his book that he doesn’t even notice Harry walking into the kitchen to approach him.

“Lou?” Harry calls out softly, his deep voice roaring through every corner of the room. Louis flinches a little, and the tall man can see every bone in the boy’s body stiffen. “Urm,” Harry coughs awkwardly, feeling a little stupid for being nervous. “Can I- Can we talk? For a second?”

Louis’s not blinking nor does he move an inch for a minute, then he gives Harry a small nod. “Okay,” he chokes out, putting the glass and the pencil down onto the marble surface. “What are we going to talk about?”

Harry walks to the bar, plops himself down onto the chair next to Louis. “Can you, uh, look at me? I _need_ to look at you as I talk through this”

Harry can literally feel Louis scoffing in his mind. “Okay,” the boy shrugs, shifting his body to the left so that his knees are touching Harry’s bigger ones.

“Good,” Harry breathes, he’s biting his lip hard as the itchiness starts to crawl under his skin, begging him to move his hand to Louis, to touch and to _feel_ him. “I-I’m sorry.”

 _God that feels so great to say it,_ Harry thinks.

“Do you mean it?” Louis looks at him through his long eyelashes, Harry can’t quite tell what’s going on in his mind right know, he doesn’t look scared but the green eyed man clearly can see that Louis isn’t comfortable being near him. There’s a tugging inside his stomach as he realizes that.

“Yes,” Harry states. “I- _Oh God,_ I am so sorry, Lou. For- for hurting you. I’m so sorry that I made you feel insecure with me when I should  be the one that protects you.” He stares at the boy in front of him carefully, there’s a big nasty bruise around his neck, Harry’s caused that. “I’m so fucking sorry that I flipped, that-that I lost my shit and took it out on you.”

Louis’ blue eyes are looking right into his green ones, his beautiful face is expressionless. “I’m sick, there’s probably some sort of mental disease staying inside my brain, and I don’t even know that is. I-I used you, I took and advantage of your youth to fulfill my lust. I ruined your innocence and childhood, and-and I didn’t feel sorry for it. God, I loved every second of it. But I swear, by god I swear that I have never intended to hurt you in the slightest, Lou. And I am deeply, madly and truly sorry for making you feel unsafe and scared of me”.

“Harry” Louis whispers, his eyes widening as he realizes what he’s just said. “I-I mean, Da-.“

“No” Harry cuts him off, wrapping his hands around Louis’ small shoulders, he can feel the boy wincing. “God, no. You can call me by my name, I don’t care. I-I won’t hurt you if you say Harry again, I won’t, Lou.”

“Harry,” Louis rests his small hands against Harry’s chest. The boy’s starting at the swallows that are tattooed on his chest, Louis is frowning before the corners of his mouth turn into a childish grin.

“Hi” he says breathlessly as he looks up at Harry. His blue eyes starting to well up with tears. “I’ve missed Harry,” he says, then he giggles as the tears start to fall, his body is shaking as he laughs. “I’ve missed _this_ Harry.”

The father is looking down at the boy as if he’s staring at a crazy person, but then again, maybe that’s the truth. Maybe there’s no _normal_ for them. “Hello,” Harry chokes out a laugh. He wraps his arms tighter around his boy, pulling the nymphet closer to him. “Hi, I’m Harry,” he says between giggles and he feels mad, good mad, like he’s so insane he no longer can feel misery. Harry feels stupid and smart at the same time, he feels giddy. Like he’s just sniffed two pots of weed, and maybe he has, because Louis feels like a drug to him. Louis is like those narcotics that can make him fly and die at the same time.

“Hello Harry,” Louis mumbles as he rests his head on Harry’s shoulder, kissing the skin above the bird tattoo of his step-father’s. “I’m Louis. And I don’t like it if you change, I really like this Harry. Please don’t do it again.”

Harry nods shakily, he leans down and kisses Louis’ soft feathery hair. “I know, I like this Harry too. I promise I won’t do that again, Lou.” Harry puts his large hands around Louis’s shoulders, pushing the boy away from him. Louis is frowning a little as Harry does so, the boy opens his mouth to speak. But he’s being cut off by Harry’s lips.

The man kisses the boy full in the mouth, Harry kisses Louis full of passion and love. He kisses him gently, as if he’s telling Louis how sorry he is. There’s no silly fireworks or sparks as they kiss, but all Louis can feel is love, love and regret and it makes the boy realize as much as he hates Harry for giving him thousands of bruises on his skin, as much he hates the man for making him feel scared to death-

What Louis fears the most is living in a world without Harry’s presence; Living in a world without Harry to make him feel scared and safe at the same time.

That is Louis’ biggest fear.

~

_“I’m screwed up, scared and doing anything that I needed”_

**_Gods and Monsters_ **

~

Everything happens in a blur.

One moment he goes to school with a genuine smile that he hasn’t put on in days, he walks into the building with excitement for all of his tests, especially football. He’s laughing when the couch announces that he gets the highest number in scoring goals. Then the next thing he knows; he’s being escorted by two seniors saying that he has to go to the pool to do his swimming test.

Louis can’t remember all the details but he remembers feeling deathly scared as the school’s counselor and the swimming coach lecture him that he needs to swim to pass. He still can hear his own pleas as he keeps begging to the teachers to not make him swim, he remembers his own excuses full of lies.

Then he sees himself being forced to open his shirt by the counselor, Mrs. Haze. He remembers himself thrashing around like a crazy person, he can hears the coach’s voice ordering every student to get out of the pool immediately, the voice of his friends’ murmuring as they see the purple, blue and yellowish  disgusting bruises littering his chest and skin.

Louis still can describe the face of the dark skinned Detective who previously introduced himself to him as Mr. Arwin. Louis remembers how he couldn’t breathe as the adults carry him to a car, he remembers himself thrashing around as two women examine his skin and Louis can perfectly hear a man’s voice cursing something that he cannot distinguish before everything turns black.

~

_“He’s my Sun and he makes me shine like diamonds”_

**_Young and Beautiful_ **

~

When Louis wakes up, he notices that he’s in a hospital bed. There’s four people looking at him with sorry eyes. One woman with blonde hair tied up into a pony tail, next to her stands a fatherly looking man that looks like he’s in his mid-forties. There’s a nametag under his breast pocket, William Preston is written on the white plastic. Louis looks up at the man, his honey brown eyes are staring at him, the man smiles warmly and it kind of reminds him of the brief memories he has from his own father.

Louis shifts his eyes to the black haired woman who’s sitting on a chair in the corner, she looks older than the blonde woman, yet she resembles those strict looking principles in those Hollywood teenage movies. Louis then stares at the dark skinned Detective, he’s standing right beside Louis’ bed, his face looking as stern as possible, yet his eyes, they’re staring at Louis’ blue ones full of pity. As if the man feels sorry for him, oh. _What does he know,_ Louis thinks bitterly.

Louis is not stupid, never has been. He knows what’s happening to him right now, everything just makes sense. These people, they’re gonna take him away from Harry. For all Louis knows, the man named William Preston could be his new father who will adopt him, or he’s a man from the shelter that Louis will be staying in for the rest of his life. The women are obviously from the social services, or maybe one of them is a Defense Attorney, maybe they want him to testify against Harry so that they can sue his step-father and put him in jail.

“Where is he?” Louis whispers, worry and guilt buzzing up from his veins to his brain. “Where’s Harry?”

The atmosphere in the room suddenly changes, like everyone is holding their breaths; like they've lost the oxygen they need to breathe. “The officers have arrested him,” William Preston announces softly, he’s looking at Louis again, and the boy could not fathom how much he wants to strangle this old man for reminding him of his biological father. “They’ve taken him to the Police station in the next town. Mr. Styles will be interviewed in the Department of Protection Against Child Abuser’s headquarters in ten hours from now”

It takes all Louis has not to scream, whimper and flinch at those words.

“Louis,” the black haired woman says, not giving any space for the poor boy to speak. She gets up from the chair, holding a file in front of her chest. “I’m Nelly Hu-“

“Please,” Louis chokes out, interrupting the woman who’s trying to introduce herself. But Louis doesn’t need that, he needs Harry. Louis looks up at the Detective, silently begging with his eyes. “Please don’t do this.”

“Louis,” the Detective starts, his voice is weirdly calm and comforting. “Louis, we put a test on you, it came out positive, from all the bruises and fingerprints, it is obvious that you’ve been sexually abused by your step-father. We need to get him away from you as soon as we can before he can do any further damage. You have to realize that this isn’t right for you, son.”

The boy who’s lying on the hospital bed lets out a high pitched laugh, like he’s trying to mock everyone in the room. “Oh, _please._ What do you know about what’s right and what is not for me?” Louis spits bitterly at the now startled looking Detective. “You don’t know a single thing about me, about _us._ You don’t know him! How can you say that he’s not right for me, when you don’t even know him in the slightest!”

“I know enough,” the Detective simply says.  “I know that _your_ Harry is suffering from a certain sexual preference disease, and I _know_ that he has beaten you repeatedly and I _know_ that whatever is going on between you two is not healthy.” The older man rests his hand on top of Louis’ hair, showing the boy his pathetic attempt to comfort him.

“You don’t understand,” Louis hisses through greeted teeth, his blue eyes full of tears as he glares at the dark skinned man’s hazel ones. “None of you do” Louis inhales as sobs start to rack throughout his small frame. “He did hurt me, but he said that he was sorry, and he promised. He hasn’t broken his promise in days.”

The man nods like he’s trying to understand the nonsense that’s coming out from the sobbing boy’s mouth. “Okay”, He gulps “But how can you be so sure that he won’t hurt you in the future, Louis? Without any supervision, he could hurt you in any way he wants.”

“But he won’t!” Louis is crying right now. “Harry is fucked up, we all are! But he’s not a criminal. Please don’t take him away from me” The boy sniffs his own snot, taking a shuddering breath to calm himself down. Louis is now looking ten times older than he should, none of the people in this room can see the childish self that they should see in a thirteen year old boy. All they can see is a broken boy, crying his heart out, as he keeps begging for safety of man that’s been abusing him for months.

None of the adults in the room dare to say it, but Harry Styles has certainly ruined Louis Tomlinson in the worst possible way a man can imagine.

~

_"My man’s crazy and his mind is a knife. But I like him – fact, i love him"_

**_Backfire_ **

_~_

“Mr. Styles, I’m detective Liam Payne from the Department of Protection Against Child Abusers, D.P.A.C.A. My work partner, Detective Malik has sent me here so I will be the one to investigate you.” A tall and well-built brown haired man says as he introduces himself to Harry. His voice is so formal and trained, it sounds so fake and Harry starts to get sick from hearing it. Harry doesn’t move nor does he speak to the man who is now sitting on a chair right across from him, his hands resting on top of the metal table neatly.

“You’re not going to say anything?” Payne raises his eyebrow.

Harry shifts his eyes to him,  green eyes bore into the man’s brown ones. Harry shrugs.

“Well, then,” Payne sighs a little as he opens the files, images of Louis and Harry scattered almost neatly in the jumble of papers with tiny notes that Harry cannot read clearly. “You are here on the accusation for molesting an underage child, is that correct?”

Harry lets out a chuckle. “You don’t even know your own case, Detective Payne?” he asks mockingly, putting the emphasis as he says Payne’s title.

“You’re not going to deny the fact that you have abused and molested an underage child, Mr. Styles?” Payne glares at him, his brows are furrowed in annoyance and probably rage, Harry assumes. “You’re just going to sit here as you keep insulting me, aren’t you?”

The curly haired man rolls his eyes, clasping his handcuffed hands to each other. “I was just asking and stating the fact,” he counters casually.

Payne stands up and walks away from the table slowly and circles around the room. He’s doing what most cops and detective do, trying to chit chat him into admitting his crime, a classic move, just like what Harry has seen and read on the telly and books. Fucking cliché. “What is your relation with the victim?”

Harry bites his lip at the word Payne just said then he stares at the big glass window in front of him, trying to look as emotionless as he can. “You already knew about that, why bother to ask?”

A bitter laugh comes from Payne’s mouth “You’re pretty smart for a disgusting pervert, aren’t you?” he turns to Harry again, walking into the table and slams both his fists to the hard surface harshly.  Harry doesn’t wince. “A smart man who’s stupid enough to assault his own step-son sexually, that’s what you are, aren’t you, Harry?” he repeats his question again. 

Harry looks away from the window, gazing at the man with blank eyes. “He’s not just my step son,” his voice is rough as he says it through his gritted teeth. “Lou is more than that, always been.”

“What? Is Louis your boyfriend?” Payne accuses him insultingly, “He’s more than a step-son to you, because you’ve been lusting for him ever since you set your disgusting eyes on him? Is that it?”

“I’m not disgusting,” Harry hisses.

“Oh, yes you are, Styles,” Payne sneers. “You took away a pubescent boy, treated him nice before you used his body for your pleasure. Then you raped him when he refused to please you, you gave him a punishment when he misbehaved. You hurt your so called step-son so bad the neighb-“

“I never hurt him!” Harry shouts, the visible veins on his neck bulging out as he slams his fists into the table so hard it almost cracks. “He didn’t get hurt! He never did!”

“Oh, really?!” Payne exclaims, his voice rises from anger towards the sick man. “Then please explain to me why we found bruises on his body?!” he asks angrily.

Harry purses his lips tight, his chest rises up and down rapidly as he tries to calm his breathing. “He deserved it,” Harry whispers sternly, his green eyes glaring down at his hands.

“A thirteen year old boy deserves to get beaten?”

“N-no!” Harry gulps “I never beat him, he-he just. He broke the rules, okay? And he deserved to get punished. I-I promised Lou that I won’t hurt him, not anymore.” He’s starting to get nervous now, worries and guilt building up in his heart, he’s not guilty. Louis deserved it, he’s just trying to protect him. Harry clenches his eyes shut as he hears Payne groans in frustration, why do people keep trying to do this? Taking Louis away from him, he just wants his princess back. Harry just wants Louis to be his again.

“I was sorry” Harry adds with a whisper, his voice is so low that its barely audible to the other man.

“Why did you do it, Harry?” Payne asks softly, this time there’s no anger or annoyance in his eyes, just- desperation and…pity.

The hot air in the room and the bright light from the lamp are making Harry sweat, he's is trembling right now. He just wants Louis. “I love him.”

“Why?” Payne asks again “Is it because he reminds you of your late girlfriend? Raina was it? She died after being shot by a group of gangsters?”

Harry whimpers at the mention of her name, he’s sweating now. Why is it so hot in here?

“You were never in love with him,” Payne states. “You’re just in love with the shadows he has that reminds you of her”

“You’re wrong!” Harry yells, his feet are kicking the table, struggling to get out of the chain that’s tying him up like he’s some kind of animal. “I love my Lou! I just want to protect him when I couldn’t do the same to her!” He sounds so broken now, his deep voice is raspy as tears start to leak from his eyes. Harry sobs, sniffing a little before he looks up at Payne again. “I love him” he repeats.

“Don’t give me that bullshit, Styles.” Payne snaps at him, his brown eyes are glaring at Harry’s green ones again.

The curly haired man opens his mouth and speaks. “To you, maybe he’s just another regular case that you have daily in return for some wages from the government to feed your family.” Harry trails his eyes from Payne to the photo of Louis on top of the files, the boy was just six when it was taken. “He’s that miserable little brat to Jo. Louis, to his bastard of a father.” Louis looked so pretty in that picture, his blue eyes were full of happiness and innocence, Harry curls his lips into a smile. “He is Tommo to his friends, to the toddlers in the neighborhood, he’s their Lou-Lou,” he looks up at Payne again, this time though- Harry is smiling, truly smiling with his eyes. And Liam Payne knows that this man is truly sick.

“But to me,” Harry continues calmly “He’s not just a shadow of a girl that I have once loved, he’s never been a shadow to me,” he traces Louis’ picture with his fingers, chuckling fondly at the memory of him meeting the boy for the first time. “He is my princess, the one whose purity I treasured before I ruined it, he’s mine. Louis is mine to take, mine to break. He is my little Lou, a beautiful petite nymphet whose life depends on the air that I breathe.”

Harry grins brightly as he finishes his sentence “He’s the light of my life, Detective. The fire of my lions, he is my sin, my soul. He’s my own Lolita.”

~

_“We loved each other with a premature love, marked by a fierceness that so often destroys adult lives.”_

**_Vladimir Nobakov, Lolita._ **

~

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> u can send prompts or talk about how amazing lana del rey is w/ me on [tumblr](http://bluelacelouis.tumblr.com)


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